This time next week I will be turning 21. This means that I will legally be able to drive lorries over 7.5 tonnes with a trailer and I could even apply for a license to fly aeroplanes and helicopters. What a dream it is to be 21. But back to the non-helicopter-flying reality – in the days leading up to my birthday I have been thinking about what it means to be 21-year-old female in our society today. To me, 21 seems much more grown up than 18. I think I finally feel as if I am stepping into that period people like to call “womanhood” and it’s not just because of the exciting potential of a lorry-driving license.
I have detected a running theme in some of the articles on the website this week – female insecurities. Our resident sex blogger talked about insecurities in the bedroom, promoting the need for openness in a relationship. It’s true, I can see exactly where she is coming from. We’ve all had that time during sex when we’ve maybe looked down at our stark naked bodies and not liked what we’ve seen. It’s probably one of the most exposed and vulnerable situations you can be in so it can inevitably lead to a lack of confidence.
But of course, there is a bigger, deeper-rooted issue here as to why so many young females today feel this way. This issue has been admirably exposed by the ex-Instagram model, Essena O’Neil. Earlier this week she went through and re-captioned all of her stunningly perfect, candid posts to reveal the truth behind them. None of her Insta photos are in any way out of the ordinary though. All of the posts, including her in a bikini on a white beach, posing in a figure hugging ball gown by a stunning lake and a selfie of her toned stomach next to a mug of the detox tea she supposedly used to help her achieve those muscles, are completely common to see on Instagram. Scrolling through my own Instagram home page, these kind of photos are the only ones that come up, so it’s no wonder we are so brain washed into thinking that this life, that body, is “normal”. Essena realised the damage that these type of photos could have on young girls so she decided to publicly reveal that all of the time, effort and money that goes into capturing just one of these photos means they are only imitations, fakes of real life. I’m sure this wasn’t a surprise to a lot of young females though. I think we are all in some way aware of those sponsorship deals given to young models like Essena to promote a certain clothing brand, detox tea, fitness regime etc. But the real shame is that even if we are aware that this seemingly “perfect” lifestyle is totally fake, we rarely stop to think about the ridiculousness of it.
(Photo credit: Instagram)
Ilka’s article this week also struck a chord with me. Just like with this week’s sex blog, it’s an article which I know will resonate with so many young females today. It takes us back to the Instagram world of falsehood and lies. It seems that as young females today, not only are we bombarded with lies on social media of girls and their supposedly perfect lives, but we also face situations where we might have to actually lie ourselves about the number of people we have slept with, to avoid the viscous culture of “slut-shaming”. Essentially, what both of these articles and Esenna’s social media protest recognise, is that it is bloody hard to be a young female in society today and avoid this culture of falsehood.
So as I approach the big 2-1 next week, despite getting older and supposedly more adult and mature. I want to actually take a step back. I want to try and regress to a more child-like state of mind where it’s all about being fearless and not over-thinking things. I am going to embrace becoming fully liberal in terms of my sex life and not let insecurities get in the way of this. I am also going to stop over-thinking about how I want my body to be and what Kayla Itsines routine I should be following on Instagram to achieve that perfect bod. As I turn 21, I am freeing myself from the lies that we face as young women on the internet and social media, because ultimately they will prevent me from fully having fun and enjoying myself as I move along in my 20s. Now, pass me that slice of birthday cake.
-Alex XO