I don’t remember when I first learned about feminism. I don’t have some pivotal moment in which I realized that yes, I believe in this, and yes, this is what I stand for. I don’t know when I decided to call myself a feminist or when I decided to be so excited by that decision.
I do know the stereotypes and preconceptions of feminism. Stinky, hairy, man-hating, angry women. I know that many people believe feminism is the belief that women are better than men; that men are unworthy; that women believe men are incapable.
This is what feminism is to me.
Feminism is the belief that men and women are equals. It is a commitment to the fight for creating political, social, and economic equality between genders. This equality does not exist now, and as a feminist, I have taken on a piece of responsibility for advocating and being the change that our society needs in order for women and men to be free of gender stereotypes.
Feminism is being proud. It is permission to love your body, to utilize your intelligence, and to speak your mind. We are taught certain physical ideals that will make us worthy of love and acceptance. Women are taught to not be “too smart” so as to intimidate a man. When we speak about and discuss these issues, we are labeled as angry, ranty, irrational girls who are most likely on their periods. Identifying as a feminist is a promise to yourself that you will be you regardless of any lines you once thought determined your behavior.
Feminism is recognizing societal flaws. If a woman takes charge she is bossy. If she has many sexual partners she is a slut. If she seeks out male attention she is desperate. If she loves her body she is vain. By the time the average woman is 60 years old, she will have made $450,000 less than a man in the same position. Women are seen as inherently less valuable and independent partly as a result of the ease with which our society diminishes an entire being into a single word. These labels have real-world consequences that perpetuate a cycle of female inferiority.
Feminism is making a woman more than her sexuality. We are taught in high school health education classes that when we lose our virginity, we lose a part of ourselves, something we can never get back. A woman is more than her sexual standing, and is the same person both before and after sex. The choice to engage in sex is an empowering decision that does not eliminate a part of a woman’s being.
Feminism is for men. Emma Watson’s speech at the UN kicked off a movement known as “He for She”. “He for She” enlists the help of men in the fight for gender equality. Feminism is not simply the belief that women are fighting for increased women’s rights, but is in fact a movement that encompasses all genders as is necessary for progress to be attained. Although women face prejudice in many social spheres, men too face certain stereotypes that, in the end, hurt both men and women. Men are taught to be strong, unemotional, controlling. It is insulting to be called a pussy or a girl, to be labeled as emotional or soft. The day that being compared to a girl is no longer the worst insult for a boy to receive is the day that both men and women will be free of the emotional and cognitive shackles that have been placed upon them. It is the day a woman will earn the same wages as her male counterparts, the day boys aren’t scolded for playing with dolls, the day women in Nigeria are not frowned upon for desiring an education more than a husband, and the day that men are proud to be feminists, because feminism was at the forefront of the gender equality movement.
Socialization exaggerates biological gender differences into personal characteristics that we have come to internalize as being inherently true. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said that “Gender describes how it should be, instead of how we are.” Our labels and ideals and cognitive constructs and biases and judgments stand no chance against the power of acting against prejudice and for equality.
And that is why I am a feminist.