Missing Home.. But Not Really

It has been almost a month now that I’ve been away from home and I sure have been enjoying my time away from home. I have experienced staying up all night on my phone, chilling with friends until my eyes burn, going to parties, and much more that comes with the college experience. After trying everything that I wanted to, I still am over the moon with being at school, but now that the one month period has come, many other freshmen are now counting down the days until they can go home, where I’m trying to count the number of clubs that I can join.

Don’t get me wrong, I miss my family very much. I miss the banter between me and younger brother, hearing “bottle?” from the little troublemaker in the house, and the serious conversations between my mother and I. I miss all of that, but honestly, I’m still in no rush to go home.

Watching all my friends get emotional while talking about their families, hometowns and what they miss, made me feel horrible about myself. I think to myself “ I must be a horrible person because I don’t miss my family” I couldn’t comprehend why I didn’t miss being home. It was something that I really had to think about, and made me sad for all the wrong reasons, but when I finally got it I cried for the part of me that was released.

I didn’t miss home because sadly, but honestly, there’s nothing there for me anymore. Not school, not a job, no future for me there. Bronx, NY … you have provided an amazing life for me during my stay, but if it's up to me, I will not be returning there to stay.  Yes, my family is there at the moment… but it is also in their future to move as well and in my mind, I knew and comprehended that, but I didn’t really understand it…until now.

All in all, for all you freshman who have been planning to just be the best you, understand that for a while you’re going to be a selfish life for a bit because you need all of your energy for this transitional period. Already a month in there are so many things that I want to be apart, crazy amount of homework, and I also need time to sleep and eat. So energy is already pretty stretched within my own crazy life.

To my precious family,

 

I love & miss you but I will see you soon.