Overcommitment. A common word in college and especially at Brandeis. We want to take advantage of all the opportunities on campus and try everything, but this often leaves us feeling empty and exhausted rather than complete and energized. We are constantly receiving the advice that we must seize the moment because we will “never have an experience like this again.” What these well-wishing people are failing to remember is that college is more than just trying new things. It is staying on top of academics and maintaining any kind of sleep schedule. It is making healthy choices and finding time to see the people who make you happy. The reality of the balancing in college hits hard and we find ourselves feeling like we are falling behind in everything we are trying to do.
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So, what can we do? How can we live up to the expectations of our family and friends, do the things we want to do, and still end the day feeling good about ourselves? The oh-so-simply complicated answer is that we must pay attention to who we are and what we need. We have to listen to our minds and bodies. What in your schedule are you looking forward to each week? What brings a smile to your face when it comes to mind? On the flip side, what activity or obligation brings on an immediate headache when you think about it? After thinking about those questions, you can then move forward and begin to make things better for yourself.
Obviously, you cannot throw away the classes you are signed up for or the club or organization who is relying on you, but once you have recognized what makes you happy and excited and what makes you anxious and stressed, you can think about where you want to put your energy. People burn out faster when they spread themselves around in activities they are not very passionate about. That deep sigh when the time rolls around to go to one of those activities is all too familiar. We often don’t realize it, but the hours we spend feeling trapped in a club meeting or rushing around to do favors we absent-mindedly committed to eating up our week. So, stop. Stop, take a deep breath, and realize that it is okay to let some of those things go. There are people in your life who value who you are and enjoy being around you, and they will enjoy you infinitely more if you bring out the lively, vibrant person who is currently trapped inside.
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Great. You know what excites you and what makes you stressed. You know the people who are in your court and you’ve just been reminded of the bright spark inside of you, but how do you bring it out? The burn out just seems inevitable. Well, let me ask you this. What happens when you and your friend decide you are going to have a fun Friday night but you have a paper to do? Exactly. That paper magically gets done. Because you make the time to get that paper done. You make it a priority. And just as you can choose to prioritize that paper, you can choose to prioritize whatever is the most fulfilling for you.
Are you a person who needs a solid 8 hours of sleep to function? Then maybe you need to eat a meal in the library instead of in the dining hall so you can get more work done. Already doing that or finding yourself not even having the time to sit down and eat? Try plugging your phone in somewhere else other than next to your bed. You will be amazed at how much easier it is to just close your eyes when your phone isn’t inches away from your grasp.
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Or, does working out give you the energy to keep moving all day and give you the feeling of accomplishment? Then make it happen. Wake up a little early a few days a week and get that blood pumping. Or, before the weather cools down, use a fifteen-minute study break to walk around campus. Who knows, you might even run into some friendly faces along the way. There are endless examples of the little ways you can slightly shift your schedule to prioritize whatever is the most important to you.
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Much like the suggestions we incessantly receive about college, all this advice can be very overwhelming. I know you have to get back to studying or eating or going to sleep, so let me leave you with this quick recap.
1st: Pay attention to the messages your body is telling you about what is most fulfilling in your life. 2nd: Let go of the things you can that don’t spark joy and trust that those who are closest will support you. 3rd: Prioritize the things you want to spend your time doing, not the things other people tell you you should spend your time doing. 4th: Breath. You are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for.
All those people giving advice are right. You will never have an experience like college again. So, how are you going to make the most of that experience? What are you going to remember when you look back at this time in your life? Take the time to make sure those memories are going to be filled with the good and never lose the confidence that you are capable of changing your story.