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Honeymoon Phase or Has it Been Too Long?

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Brandeis chapter.

If you thought that the honeymoon phase was going to last your WHOLE entire relationship, then you might want to rethink that. Once the honeymoon phase is over, the courting stops and things get real—the true colors come out. Here is a list that shows that you’ve been dating him too long compared to what others would classify as the honeymoon phase.

1. The Sleeping Situation.

Honeymoon Phase: Cuddling with each other the whole night. Tons of spooning and laying your head on his chest while his arm is wrapped around you in your dorm twin-sized bed. The heat that is generated between both of your bodies does not phase either one of you because you’re having that sleepover that you have been waiting for all day. He snores and you accept it and try to sleep through it.

It Has Been Forever: You sleep on opposite sides of your twin-sized bed…or you at least try to without falling off. There is no more sharing of the blanket because one of you steals all of the covers, so you have wizened up and now you have 2 blankets, one for each of you. Or you just steal the covers and you make him deal with it and figure it out. You cuddle for maybe 5 minutes at most, but when it gets too hot, you turn away to the cold wall and cuddle with it instead for relief. Now when he snores, you hit him to stop and try to prevent another sleepless night, or you purchase ear plugs. Either method is effective.

2. Makeup?

Honeymoon Phase: Every time your boo is coming over to either study or sleep over you put on a fresh coat of makeup even though you applied some hours before. Why? Because he must see you beautiful and made up ALL THE TIME. He must never see the “creature” side of you when you wake up in the morning with no makeup and your hair looking like a bird’s nest—that side of you might scare him away and we do not want that.

It Has Been Forever: Oh he’s coming over tonight?  Okay. Sweats are on, hair is up in a messy bun, and make up is off. You do not care if he sees the worst of you because if he has not run away by now then he is definitely staying regardless of your appearance. This way of thinking also helps your wallet because you are saving money by not constantly buying makeup because there is no need constantly apply cosmetics on your face. He loves your natural beauty, has accepted your “creature” look and has probably learned to love that side of you as well.

3. Communication.

Honeymoon Phase: You must be in contact at all times. You both text each other good morning, good night, and tell each other literally everything that you are doing at the moment and what you plan to do the next. 30 minutes between texting is too long and you both double text to keep the conversation going. This is not a bad thing at all, but this need to be in constant contact never lasts.

It Has Been Forever: He has not texted you in an hour? That’s okay because by now you know that he’s busy and this does not faze you. The good morning texts are nice but not always present and it’s okay. Eventually you both are going to reach out to each other and that is all that matters. 

4. Date Time!

Honeymoon Phase: The conversation must keep going even when your mouth is filled with food. There is still so much to learn right?! It is clearly your goal to learn everything about him in that one hour sitting period. Brief silences are awkward and you try to avoid it as much as possible.

It Has Been Forever: You sit down and order your food and have brief conversation. You eat in silence and are okay with it. Silence is the key to show that you both are so comfortable in each other’s presence and that no talking is needed to fill in the silence.

5. Did Someone say Presents?

Honeymoon Phase: You buy each other extravagant gifts that are romantic and thoughtful and represent whatever you both like. You have to keep it cute and gushy so when you rub it in your roommate’s face she can be jealous and say that he’s the best boyfriend in the world.

It Has Been Forever: Your gifts are not always over a hundred dollars (there are some exceptions). Your gifts are more funny and simple than anything. By this time, you know what he likes and he knows what you like. Showing off is not necessary– it is the thought that counts. For instance, it is cute and funny if he buys you tons of ice cream and nutella because he knows that this is what you truly love and want on a daily basis. 

6. PDA…

Honeymoon Phase: You cannot keep your hands off of each other in public, in the dorm, basically anywhere. There is so much hand holding, back rubbing and kissing that it gets annoying sometimes to a third party observer if they have to witness this and even your friends start saying “EWWWWWW!!!!.” The greetings and departures are filled with excessive “Don’t go baby! I miss you already.” This is then followed by a 5 minute make-out session by the door.

It Has Been Forever: Holding hands in public? Occasionally. Kissing in public? If he does something nice then he deserves a peck on the cheek. You see each other and all you give each other is a quick kiss. You do not need that constant affection to know that you both love each other– each other’s presence is more than enough.

7. Your Fictional Relationships with Celebrities or Other People.

Honeymoon Phase: Jealousy is in the air! You can tell it in his face. I mean what kind of girl would possibly not want to date Channing Tatum, Zac Efron, or Cristiano Ronaldo… pfft you would never want that…….Then he is going to try to one-up your celebrity crush the next time you watch a movie or a game.

It Has Been Forever: You now have a list of “boyfriend approved crushes.” Now, instead of being jealous, your man will have input and may actually compliment your celebrity crush. Granted he might still try to compete, but it is now all fun and games. You finally feel free to express your undying love for Channing Tatum the next time you watch Magic Mike. After your two hours with Channing Tatum, you will ramble on about him for hours and it does not phase your boyfriend. Moreover, your boyfriend is now comfortable to talk about his female celebrity crushes with you. You just comment “she is fine!” No jealousy present nor needed.

Andrea is a sociology major with minors in journalism and women's and gender studies. She is currently finishing her senior year at Brandeis University. She was born and reared in Los Angeles, CA, which does mean that she is a die-hard Laker fan… Sorry Bostonians. When Andrea is not routing on her favorite basketball team, she dedicates her time to her many passions. They include reading and writing about fashion, traveling, exploring new restaurants, spending time with friends, watching reality television (she has a weak spot for Bravo), shopping, and working out.