Has someone ever told you it was time to just “let go,” or that it was time to forget about the past or hurt you have been through? Coming from me, that personally is quite hard. It takes guts to let yourself go; along with the hurt. When I entered college, the past was something that made me who I was. It defined me and my personality as it had shaped my life from the beginning. Going through heartbreak or hurt in itself can change people and can change your outlook on your relationships and feelings. My past was something that had its ups and downs, but I cherished it for the better, no matter the hurt.
Letting go is hard to do. One thing that helped me stop holding onto the things that hurt me was meeting new people, focusing on you, and choosing to no longer serve the things that do not serve you.
MEETING NEW PEOPLE
I know, I know, you probably hear this everyday but it’s true. Meeting new people can bring a whole new perspective into your life no matter who they are. People come and go and that is something that is hard to accept but it is for the better. When I first met my friends, I had no idea the impact they would have on me. People say that the friends you make in college are your friends for life and you know what? That may be true. Meeting actual good people who make you feel good and respect you can change your outlook on everything. If I am being completely honest, being around new people can make you understand that letting go and meeting others can switch your thought process around amazingly.
FOCUSING ON YOU
There are so many things going on in everyone’s life that it gets hard to focus on yourself and mental wellbeing. Recently, I read a quote from an article on healthline.com by Dillon Browne. He stated, “You have to make the choice to address the hurt you have experienced.” This specific saying is something that is so important. When you go through extreme heartbreak or hurt from relationships, family, friends, or even life itself, it takes a toll on you. Even if you don’t like to address those feelings, it isn’t good to bottle them up and hide them away. Taking the time to focus on yourself is one of the first things to do to realize that it is okay to hurt and feel the way you do. As someone who has come to terms with the hurt and heartbreak I have experienced within my life, it does get better.
People always say that it takes time and let me be honest here, it takes more time than you could imagine. Do not let that discourage you. Giving yourself time is another beauty in letting go. Time does heal all things, no matter the limit. It can be days, weeks, months, or even years. Don’t ever beat yourself up on the time it takes for you to heal because that is normal and reasonable.
CHOOSING TO NO LONGER SERVE THE THINGS THAT DON’T SERVE YOU
You might of heard this saying before but letting go of those things or people that don’t aid you in your healing process is completely normal and is not something that makes you a bad person. I always thought that letting go of those people who were tied to my heartbreak would have ended me and made me realize I was a terrible person; but I was so wrong. People grow and change and letting go of certain people is a challenge that life made for everyone. There may have been nothing wrong with you and that person’s relationship, but outgrowing someone and wanting to end things then and there can save the both of you immense hurt. Although letting go is difficult, learning about it may be good for you and can change your outlook on why letting go is important.
Acknowledging that certain people in your life may not respect you or help you in your healing process (or may even be halting your healing process) can get you started on why it may be a good idea to let that relationship go. Letting go of relationships or friendships is stressful and can cause “drama” but in the end that does not matter. Understanding that you are top priority in your mental health and mindset is the first step when finding out that it may not be good to serve the things that don’t serve you.
SOME PEOPLE MAY NEVER UNDERSTAND; BUT SOME DO
Coming from someone who tends to dwell on the past or hurt I have been through, some people may just never understand what it is like and that’s okay. You can’t force people to understand or see your point of view because that is just how it is. What I have learned to do in these type of situations is finding the people who do understand and letting yourself talk it through with those who get it. Having a good support system when it comes to talking about what you went through can change your outlook on letting things go or even just understanding that what has happened to you is okay to talk about.
IN THE END
In the end, letting go is difficult, challenging, and scary but so important. Letting go lets you breathe. It lets you realize that it’s okay to not hold onto the challenges and hurt you have been through. If you are afraid of letting go, remember that it is for the better. That is the beauty in it. You let go of the hurt and heartbreak and learn that life has these challenges to teach you what is meant for you and what is not meant for you.