There are some endings that you tend to look forward to. The end of scary movies, the end of the day on Thursday, the end of long car rides, and the sex-finale (just saying…) all come to mind. On the other hand, there are some endings you don’t usually want. The bottom of your bowl of ice cream, for instance. Or the end of a relationship.
The end of a relationship is way more complicated than the end of the school week, or finding yourself at
the bottom of the ice cream bowl. And the longer your relationship has been, the more complex the untangling of your lives is. You’re constantly hounded by memories of your former significant other, whether it’s because you have 75 mutual friends on Facebook or because every day, you have to pass by the places you were happy together. And even more than all the actual reminders, there are the emotions that come up when you least expect them. Sitting in class and remembering an inside joke, or maybe being at the gym. Worst is at night, when you’re in bed, somehow still waiting for the “Goodnight, I love you” text that you rationally know isn’t coming. Andmy relationship isn’t even 100% over. I’m in relationship limbo, technically detached but with many heartstrings still connected. At this point, going back is probably impossible, but I’m still not totally ready to move on.
I’m trying to look at this as a positive moment in my life. I’m young and the spinster-hood I irrationally fear is far away. And there’s no better place to be single and mingling than on a college campus! One big chapter has closed, but there are many more left.