In the week leading up to Ivies, Her Campus Bowdoin will be providing you with everything you need in our Ivies Survival Guide.
So, we have arrived at the hap-happiest season of all on the Bowdoin campus. No, the Christmas party invitations have not been e-mailed out. It’s not Crack-o-ween and it’s not Date Week.
It’s Ivies. So here is a dilemma that many Bowdoin students (not ruling you out, boys) will tackle over the Marathon of Madness that we are about to embark on: how do you drink a million beers, and juicy drinks, and mimosas, and still look smokin’ hot come Sunday. Let us not forget, Gala is a week away…and we still have to fit in our dresses…and guys, you might be interested in looking good too.
If you’re anything like me, the dilemma becomes more tricky – everyone knows you are not supposed to drink on an empty stomach. Common knowledge, I know. But do I really need a potato in my stomach to be the foundation for about the carbohydrate equivalent of 25 potatoes about to enter my system in liquid form? What, that’s just for Racer-X night?! Forget looking like a Sunday Smokeshow.
While I’m being a little snarky, and cannot actually drink a million beers, or 25 for that matter, I do want to a) have fun, b) look sexy while I’m having fun and c) not totally blow my body out if whack after Ivies. Alas, there are exams, but also for me, there are the Graduation family photos to consider that will stick around my house for a lifetime. Finally, Bikini Season is quickly approaching. I’d rather not let Miller Lites make me look like Moby Dick on Popham Beach. No brainer, right?
Here’s the plan: Stay Active
1. Start up some games with friends. Obviously I might receive some ridiculous looks for endorsing this one. You might think: it’s a week of fun, what I don’t need is to be in the gym. I totally agree, but that does not leave out all the other fun ways that you can burn those evil, carby cals. The weather looks awesome, touch wood, so being outside is perfectly conducive to staying active and staying a party girl. Start up some games of softball, throw a frisbee around, kick around a soccer ball, pick up a lacrosse stick and you might even just pick up a sweet lax hottie, or DANCE! My list can go on forever, but the point is: you can move around and drink too, and enjoy the awesome weather — and enjoy the fact you will still look awesome.
2. Walk everywhere. Walking is such a great way to burn cals without even knowing it. Even though we all love the luxury of Safe Rides, forget that – walk between parties with your pals. Not only will it be much more fun to watch people trip or take a whizz out in the woods, but you are essentially getting secret exercise. Who knew that it’s a half mile exactly from Smith Union to Harpswell – so do a little math, and you will clock some serious walking miles this week.
3. Eat as you usually do. I know the late night binges taste so good after a night of partying, but come on, Papa Johns is not doing anyone’s thighs a good deed. A bagel at breakfast from Dunkies – guess again. Or what about the French fries at Thorne? Nope. Unless you have a metabolism that is obscene and allows you to eat this junk that tastes oh-so-good going in and actually goes out, then I am guessing you are either a guy or a super-female freak. Women are biologically designed to clutch on to fat so we can have babies. Fact of life. So, stick to things that are mostly un-processed, whole-grain and full of nutrients. Example: Cereal with fruit and eggs at breakfast, (and water) at breakfast, a sandwich loaded with veggies at lunch, and a grilled chicken breast with cole-slaw and rice at dinner. Mind you, accidents will happen – or rather indulgences will happen – but keep your portions in check and you will be golden. And don’t be one if those ones to go to the other extreme and eat nothing. You will surely be that girl at the party. No, no, no. Not who you want to be.
4. Just forget Papa Johns right now. I’m serious, if there’s one obstacle to get over it’s that guy. Your wallet will also be heavier, so then you have more dough for other fun things. Like beer.
5. Cigs are not the way to kill the appetite. Although you look might think you look like a Marlboro Mama smoking that dart, the person you might smooch might not be so happy about it. Do yourself, your mouth, and your mother, a favor and don’t smoke those cigs. Furthermore, even though having a pack of cigarettes causes the “insta-friend phenomenon” to occur which can feel awesome, you aren’t doing the other guy any favors by giving them some cigs either. Refer back to Rule 3 if you cigs are your tool to cutting cals immediately – let’s show some will power!
6. Do some workout moves in the morning. Ever since I can remember, my dad has always done his plyometrics workout right when he wakes up. Throw a towel on the ground and do a circuit or two of bodyweight exercises: push-ups until you can’t do anymore, sit-ups, crunches, bicycle crunches, maybe a plank or two, some squats or lunges, and presto – not only have you done some toning and tightening, but you have gotten your cardio up and a little sweat in. I bet after 10-15 minutes of this, your cheeks will even look less plump because you have gotten all the puffiness that set in over night to move downtown. Now, if you’re heading to the kitchen or the bathroom, do some walking lunges to where you are going. Yup, it might look ridiculous, but your buns need something to look sexified for the day ahead of you. Try doing calf-raises while you brush your teeth or as look at your closet as you choose which mini-spring dress to wear. Anything goes! Everyday routines can accommodate some exercise, even if you look a little absurd while doing it. Plus, the people who might judge you when you try these little tricks definitely won’t be looking as good as you.
7. Avoid massive hangovers. I am one to fall victim to these serious fun-ruiners. Try to stick to one type of alcohol, for one. If you have a nice mimosa in the morning to kick off your day right, then have some beers in the sunshine, then go wild with some vodka at nighttime, my bet is you’re going to feel it and look it tomorrow. Stick to one and plan your beverage of choice ahead. You will know exactly how much you are drinking, and, will be prudent in drinking it. Also consider if you are mixing hard booze with nice juices to make them go down easy, all that sugar is calorically loaded and will stick around the day after in headache form, or worse, cellulite form (gasp!). Just be smart. Know your limit and you will not miss out on the fun of the following day. Don’t think that you have to get completely wreck to have fun – a nice buzz maintained throughout the day is much better than your eyes crossing when you try to have a conversation with someone.
Jose Cuervo, for instance, is a frenemy of mine. And I’m on to him. This Rico Suave makes you think you’re having the time of your life, and he coaxes you to have more, and then BAM! Gotcha. Man down. Turn on some Law and Order or NCIS – he’ll keep you right in bed during that perfect sunshine. Plus, Tequila is known to make clothes fall off. Ivies is not the time nor place for that.
8. Finally, if you’re really down to be awesome – there’s a 5k this Saturday morning on Pennellville Road in Brunswick. Run three miles, be outside, be competitive, and see the looks on everyones faces when you tell them how much of a rockstar you are. Now that is an Ivies competitor who came to play.
There it is – the plan. Do what you can, do what you want, have fun, know you look awesome in those Risky Business Ivies sunglasses because they do that for everyone, and let’s kick it. Finally it’s springtime, and I think it’s the perfect time for all you hotties, from the freshies to the seniors, to work it.
I dare you to wink at Mac Miller. Or anybody. You’re sex appeal will be contagious, you will be the life of the party, and confidence will be to the max. How can you go wrong?
Photo sources:
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