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You Know You Need It: Boy Advice

With today’s generation of “dating,” you never really know what is going on between you and “your mans” because you don’t really know if he’s yours. Now a days, it is more confusing than ever to interact with the boy you like. Now this may not be applicable to your situation or your guy, but a little help never hurts. 

The first problem: Questioning what “talking” even means?

You snap and text all the time, like you do with all your friends, but for some reason because you like the person, it’s different. The majority of the time, this phase is hazy for both parties. You aren’t taken, so you can do as you please without needing to worry about what the other person has to say. And you honestly cannot get mad at the other person for doing the same because you are both free, single individuals at the moment. HOWEVER, there is the risk that one party will think the relationship is more serious than it is. Communication is key throughout the relationship, but especially now because it is just the beginning.  

Now, you have taken it to the next level… So what does this mean?

This can be a STICKY situation. There are most likely two outcomes after this. The first being the sad reality that they just wanted sex and nothing else from you. And yeah, this is shitty; but it happens, and it’s not always a bad thing. You guys can still be friends because that’s better than making things awkward. You’re probably going to see them out at parties, around campus, and everywhere else you go. Or it could turn out really well for you. Things could get more serious, eventually maybe ya’ll can become exclusive to test the potential of a real relationship, or you could just be friends with benefits. Both are great options, but it will take more time for it to evolve into something more which may get frustrating, but maybe it will be worth the wait. You’ll never know unless you try. 

Well, it’s been a while… You want to date this kid, but how?

Boys tend to need some guidance; they also tend to be clueless. So talk to to his friends to see what they have to say, and to see what he is saying about you to them. It’s okay to be nosy because everybody needs clarification. But also, don’t be afraid to talk to him directly about it. His friends will most likely tell him you asked what is going on between the two of you, so get to him first and see what is going on. He may feel the same way but didn’t know he had to pop the question, or that you felt the same; so don’t be surprised by his reaction when it comes. However, there is the other option that he doesn’t want a label, but rather to stick to how things currently are. And it may be for the best, you are in college after all. There is distance and other people out there, so it may be better to not be tied down. Or after time and as things progress, your relationship could grow into a label of some sorts. It is all about the timing, so be patient. 

Additional Advice:

  • They won’t tell you the cute vsco-worthy things unless you tell them that is what you like.
  • The social media game is stupid. If you look good in a photo and he just so happens to be in it, post it. He may not do the same because he’s most likely worried about what others will say/think because surprisingly, boys do that!!!
  • The little gifts may only come if you ask for them, so do that thing where you accidently leave your laptop screen open with a necklace you really want…. But also know, he is not made of money. Ask in moderation and when things are on sale.
  • Trust your parents’ opinions of him.
  • If he doesn’t like the family you love, question it from both sides.
  • Ask your friends the honest truth of what they think of your relationship. They know you and see things you don’t. It’s good to hear different perspectives
  • When you break up, break up. You broke up for a reason. It’s okay to try it again, but only after you’ve both changed.
  • If it’s meant to be, it will be. And that sounds cheesy, but it is so true. Things will work out the way the are supposed to, which may not be how you hoped they would, but there’s a reason for everything.
  • Dates don’t always require money and going out, so be grateful if he comes over to Netflix and legit chill with you because it is a date. You had an agreed upon time and location that you will be spending time together at. Some boys won’t even do this, dump them if they don’t.
  • He is a boy, make a list of the things you want for your anniversary and birthday. It will make him SO happy, and both of your lives will be easier.
  • Bros before “hoes” is a very real thing.

 

So, sister to sister,

As a senior, double majoring in Public Relations and Organizational Communications, Monica is eager to take on the roles of Campus Coordinator for Bloom U and Campus Trendsetter for HC. Whenever she isn't writing for HC, you can find her filming for the National Broadcast Society, volunteering for the Special Olympics Bocce Bash as Assistant Volunteer Coordinator, or supporting Pura Vida Bracelets as a Company Representative. Outside of her on-campus involvement, Monica enjoys photography, binge watching Netflix, eating Taco Bell, and making people laugh. 
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