This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Bloom U chapter.
- If he makes you cry, kick him to the curb (tears of joy are acceptable). College is supposed to give you the best years of your life. No part of those years should be spent crying over some guy. It may seem like a cliche, but you will find someone who would never even dream of hurting you. The one who makes you cry isn’t worth your tears, and the one who is worth your tears would never make you cry.
- Don’t chase a guy—ever. Once you catch him, you will no longer want him. This one goes both ways… “The chase” is fun for him too, so don’t waste months vying for his attention only to get tossed aside once you give in. If he’s interested, he’ll show his interest. Otherwise, it’s just not worth it.
- They’re not all bad. And we should stop assuming they are. It’s alright if he’s on his phone every once in a while when you’re together! It doesn’t mean he’s making plans with another girl, he could be checking Twitter or texting his mom. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule, but innocent until proven guilty, right? Give him a chance.
- Ditching your girls for a guy is a big, fat NO. Who’s going to be there to pick up the pieces when you’re broken hearted that he posted an Instagram with another girl? Your best friends. While romantic relationships are important, you have to remember who will be willing to sit up on the phone at two in the morning trying to decode his text messages. Friends make life bearable. Without them, you’ll be gossiping with your pillow. Never bail on plans with your girl friends for a guy.
- Enjoy being single while you’re single. Being able to fall asleep mid-conversation and not wake up to twelve text messages is awesome! Being independent is awesome, not having to explain anything to anyone is awesome, and pizza is awesome. Who needs a boyfriend when you have pizza? (Having both is a bonus) Don’t wish away your time to be carefree because your best friend has a boyfriend. Do your own thing, and everything will fall into place.
- Don’t lose sight of who you are. Deciding to be in a relationship does not mean you should change who you are as an individual. If there is something you enjoy that he doesn’t, you can still do it. It’s unreasonable to throw your dreams and interests out the window simply because it’s not what he wants, nor is it worth it to lose touch with who you really are. Compromise is key, and changing yourself to suit another person is not what compromise is about.
- Friends with benefits is almost always a terrible idea. The friendship goes away when the benefits emerge. “Friends with benefits” eventually morphs into “benefits with an occasional awkward wave on campus”. Chances are, one of you develops feelings for the other, and then everything goes downhill. Also, be careful to make sure a relationship like this doesn’t damage your self-worth. You deserve to be cared for emotionally as well as physically. Find someone who will give you both.
- Guys get jealous too. Jealousy does not discriminate; it plagues both genders. You’re not feeling jealous only because you’re a female, and just because he’s jealous doesn’t mean you did something wrong.
- Chivalry is not dead. There are actually men in the world who pull out chairs for their dates without the intention of making them fall on the floor. This may not be every woman’s cup of tea, but it’s at least reassuring to know that gentlemen aren’t extinct. This doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll open your car door for you or put his jacket over a puddle so you can walk across, but mark my words – there are genuinely nice guys out there who will walk up to your door instead of honking the car horn outside when he picks you up.
- Never settle. Not wanting to be single and wanting to be in a relationship are two completely different things. The former is not a justifiable reason to jump into a relationship. You may feel lonely and chocolate just isn’t filling the void anymore, or you’re sick of hearing your friends’ mushy stories, but forcing yourself into a relationship with someone when you really only want the label never ends well. Wait it out, find someone you genuinely care for, and then drown your friends in your own stories about the pet names you call each other and what he bought you for Valentine’s Day.
- Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you should let yourself go… Don’t wear stained sweatpants and a dirty t-shirt every time you see him. Put in some effort! He’ll appreciate it and reciprocate the favor instead of wearing the same shirt for two weeks. You let yourself go, he’ll do the same, and unfortunately your relationship will suffer because appearance actually does matter sometimes.
- …But he should still love you even when you’re not all done-up. Enough said.
- Only you know all the details of your relationship. If you want to be with him, be with him. Complain to your friends when necessary, but never forget to gush to them or they’ll only know about his bad points. Don’t let anyone else tell you how to run your life, especially not the romantic aspect of it. If he does nice things for you, shows how much he cares, and you feel the same way, stick with him. You know the ins and outs, they only know the little things you tell them.