Thoughts During a Family Vacation

• Guys, I’m gonna take a pic of our spot in the garage so I remember where we parked at the end of this week.
• Do I have to take my shoes off for security? Dang, my socks have holes in them.
• What gate are we? What terminal is that in? Wait what seat are you? Wanna switch? …I need the aisle. No, like, I need it, I pee a lot.
• Is the curtain between first class and coach really necessary? I hope it’s stuffy up there.

• Yes, mom, I see you two rows ahead waving— HIIIII.
• My nails look so cute. This color is supposed to stay on for two whole weeks. I’m so glad I treated myself, I mean, I’m on VACATION.
• What is dad WEARING?! That’s so embarrassing.
• The flight attendant keeps calling me sweetie. Excuse me, I am an adult.
• Uh, the flight might get a little bumpy? How much is a little?! Is anyone nervous? Because I’m not. It’s okay mom, I’m good, I’m good— I’m an adult.

THEY HAVE BLUE CHIPS, OH LORD, TRIP MADE.

• We’re about to land, it’ll be a breeze. I’m not scared— I fly like a pro.

*Grips arm rests*

*Begins deep breathing exercises*

• I think they lost my bag. The carousel isn’t moving. I guarantee it’s my stuff. I’m so sorry for the holdup, everyone, I don’t know why bad things happen to good people.

JK THERE IT IS— WE ROLLIN’!!!!

Taxi

Taxiiii

TAXI!!!!

• Holy moly, this hotel is not too shabby.
• Oh, sir, you didn’t have to hold the door for me. Then again, I am on VACATION.

• Only two room keys? Yes mom, I can be in charge of one. No, I won’t lose it. I’m an adult!
• Does anyone know the hotel Wi-Fi password?
• What? Did you say 307F069H28 or 29?

• This bed is huge! But the pillow is much too hard. Anyone wanna switch pillows??
• What on earth are these TV channels???? Has anyone found E! yet?

• Alright, I’m going for a walk on the beach. Yes, alone; I’ll be safe. No, please let me go alone.

I JUST NEED SOME ME TIME AND I AM AN ADULT.

• Oh crap, has anyone seen my room key?

• That guy is CUTE.
• Oh, never mind.
• Wait, yes— heeeeyyyyy!
• Oh god, I totally swiped him on Bumble.

LOOK AWAY. LOOK AWAY.

• Am I too old to get my hair braided? Maybe like a couple braids? I think that might be “in” again. I just won’t put beads on the ends and it’ll be like a cool Cali vibe thing.

• What time is dinner?
• Where are we eating?
• What are you wearing?

• Can someone take a pic of me on the balcony? This romper is brand new.

• Whoa the waiter is hot.
• I wonder if he noticed my romper.

• Dessert? Well, I really shouldn’t. Okay, alright, I am on VACATION.
• I deserved this lava cake. I work so hard. Plus, I’m actually hitting the gym during this trip so it won’t matter.

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• Alright. New day, new priorities.
• Time to get a tan.
• Wow the sun feels great!
• God I’m sweating.
• I need to dunk in the pool.
• Ahhh okay, round two.
• God, I’m sweating again. I can’t do this.

Aaaand I’m burnt.

• Probably because I used SPF 30. I knew I should have gotten 45.
• Mom, look, I’m BURNT.
• Oh…well no… I didn’t reeeeeally reapply….
• Did you bring any aloe?
• Okay thanks, I’ll go get it from the room.

Crap— WHERE IS MY ROOM KEY?

• Shoot, I didn’t work out today. Whatever, I sweat more by the pool than I ever do at the gym. It would have been too crowded in there anyway.
• Awww look how nicely we all cleaned up for dinner. FAMILY PHOTO!
• Sorry, my foot looks funny in that, one more.
• WAIT— my nail polish is chipped?? You can totally see it in the picture. Can’t ‘gram that.

• Ugh, dad, how are you more tan than me, you literally sat in the shade and kept your shirt on.
• Hey at least my freckles came out!!!!

• *Updates snap story to pic of beach view with temperature*
• *Sees friend with story of temperature 1 degree higher*
• *Changes story to pic of beach view with geotag*

• Alright, let’s go, I’m so hyped for food.
• Is everyone ready to order?
• Wait, what are you getting?
• Sharesies?

• No dad, of course I don’t have meal envy. Do you see my plate? This is picture worthy.
• *Adds pic of dinner plate to vsco*
• Okay yeah, actually could I just have one more bite of yours?
• No dessert for me. Gotta stay strong!
• ….Hey, mom, could I just try one bite of that tiramisu?
• Wow, seriously, I’m gonna be sick— I have a massive food baby.

You paid, right? Can we leave? I need to lay down.

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*Repeat cycle for 5 more days*

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Four Instagrams for one trip isn’t too much, right? I’m on VACATION.

• No mom, STOP, you can’t zoom on Instagram.
• Okay, I’m ready to go home.
• We have to return the room keys to the front desk? I’m so sorry. I totally left it up in the room.
• What time does our flight leave? IT’S NOT DIRECT? Oh man, I don’t know if I can make it through two plane rides. Wait, I mean, I’m a great flyer. It’ll be a breeze— as long as I’m in the aisle.
• Alright, I have lots of work to get done on the flight. Back to my studies!

*Sleeps through both flights*

• We’re back already? Wait, I know EXACTLY where we parked. I took that picture of our spot… just let me scroll past all the pics I took on the beach to find it.

• Oh, the car keys are in my bag, one sec.
• Wait a second.
• Uhhhhh….

Mom, I found the room key.