Are you beautiful or are you attractive? What’s the difference? Can you be both or neither and which is better?
The word “beauty” is often misunderstood. Although we’ve all heard the saying, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” many people take beauty to mean simply physical features. Sure, every person has different physical features that they think “look nice” and make someone else attractive. But is beauty the same thing as attractiveness? Or is beauty something more than an “attractive” combination of nice hair, skin, and body? Or vice versa?
Bentley students weigh in on this fascinating question. Their responses illustrate an important concept: not only is beauty in the eye of the beholder, beauty is much more than a compilation of physical features. However, while all students agreed that something more than pure physical appearance is important, definitions differed dramatically student to student. Some defined beauty as attractiveness + other characteristics. Others defined attractiveness as beauty + other characteristics.
Note that only initials have been used to preserve anonymity. A variety of people were chosen for this question from different class years, genders, and sexual orientations. Every student answered that they believe there is a difference between beauty and attractiveness.
Bentley Graduate F.E. put it this way: “Attraction is sex, but beauty is more cultural.” F.E. clarifies that, “Attractiveness is purely lust – nothing more than a “cute” face and maybe body. Perhaps someone you would hookup with and nothing more. But beauty is more, wider, etc. Beauty is an effervescent trait in someone who is confident, comfortable and takes ownership of their true self.”
Beyonce is a great example according to F.E.: “The way she owns her face, her body, her culture, and her life is simply breathtakingly beautiful. Now that’s beauty. But attraction: that’s Kate Upton on the cover of SI.”
Bentley student L.P. agrees, stating that, “beauty is what makes you unique as a person, whereas attractiveness is anything that contributes to your beauty.”
Where things start to get confusing when looking at how college-aged students defined appeal is that many students completely flip the definitions. For example, O.B. says, “Beauty is definitely more superficial and attractiveness is more an overall thing. Someone beautiful is a classically pretty person but someone who is attractive has a good personality, you get along with them, and you have a lot in common. Just part of attractiveness is visual attractiveness.” Calling someone beautiful or attractive clearly means different things to different people.
Bentley student A.B. agrees that attractiveness is something more than beauty and defines beauty as “something you are born with.” She says that it, “doesn’t factor into your personality or anything – someone who is beautiful could be a bad person and still be pretty. Attractiveness is a feeling based on looks, personality, and other factors.”
A.B. says that someone who is attractive and not just beautiful, “is funny, smart, can hold a conversation, is nice, a friendly person, charismatic, etc.” She concludes that, “you could be ugly and still be attractive because of a great personality.” For those who are concerned about traditional standards of beauty that people, particularly women, are often held to, this is an eye-opening comment. Regardless of how appealing your physical characteristics are and regardless of whether someone thinks “beauty” or “attractiveness” contains “more,” your personality and other factors are still being considered as part of your appeal.
Wondering in what way others judge you? T.N. believes that, “Beauty is based on visual appeal and it is more objective than attractiveness. I view attractiveness as more subjective. Beauty is attractive but attractiveness isn’t always beauty. Attractiveness is broader than beauty and can refer to someone as a whole rather than just based on appearance. Someone would be attractive to me if their personality and other personal characteristics appealed to me. It wouldn’t only be based on outward appearance. Someone would be beautiful based on their outward appearance alone.”
Such views are encouraging, given that studies have shown more symmetrical faces are usually rated as more attractive [1], “attractive” employees earn more than those deemed less attractive [2], beautiful people are seen as more persuasive [3], and numerous other studies show the importance of “perfect” physical features. But whether the studies are addressing beauty or attractiveness or using them interchangeably, there is no doubt that something more is required for someone to be seen as truly appealing, thus explaining Bentley students’ overall consensus that beauty and attractiveness are different although they didn’t agree definitionally.
While beauty and attractiveness should probably be used interchangeably, they do have meanings as different to the beholder as the beauty in others. In today’s culture, women in particular have a hard time seeing themselves as beautiful. In fact, in a Dove survey of 6,400 women, 96% said they wouldn’t use the word “beautiful” to describe themselves [4]. One Bentley student points out a flaw in the use of this word, however. J.M says, “I feel like beauty is more universal. You might describe a sunset or view or sculpture as beautiful but not attractive. I think attractiveness is more personal. When it comes to people, very few people would disagree that, say, Zendaya is beautiful but I personally wouldn’t call her attractive.”
Once again, we see that the appeal of someone is in the eye of the beholder, and many beholders believe that perfect facial features do not necessarily make someone appealing. Bentley student D.E. says that, “There can be someone who is beautiful yet unattractive due to other qualities that would elicit an attraction from others, such as personality or generosity. Beauty is simply pleasing to the eye, but does not always constitute substance beyond the surface or even attraction. Attractiveness is not necessarily always beauty (it could be), yet it implies some other qualities that elicit some level of romantic interest. Someone beautiful would be someone with a symmetric and smooth face with nice eyes and a nice nose. Someone attractive would be someone potentially less beautiful but someone who is positive and generous, who has a sense of humor, and who is kind.”
M.M. defines it the other way, saying, “I feel like beauty is a deeper version of attractiveness. Both can be used to describe personality and looks. I feel like attractiveness is more about looks though. Like you say ‘oh, that person is attractive’. But beauty is the whole package with looks and personality. Like you say that person is beautiful when they are very attractive looking and have a very nice personality.” C.C agrees: “Attractiveness is purely physical and beauty is something less tangible. To me, someone who is attractive is “technically perfect” with symmetrical features, nice hair, etc., but to be beautiful it’s more how someone’s eyes light up, or the way they smile or laugh, or even the confident way they walk.”
One student had a particularly positive conclusion. According to A.W., “Beauty can be anything. I think a lot of people have beautiful personalities.” You can be beautiful; you can be attractive; you can be both; but if you are a nice person you can’t be neither! Take heart in knowing that even without perfect physical features, people will find you appealing one way or another. In conclusion, whether people use the word beautiful or attractive does not particularly matter; what is important is that you are not a book judged solely by its cover. When you are walking around Bentley, hold the door for someone, smile, talk to a stranger, and other Bentley students will take notice.
[1] https://www.cnn.com/2012/03/02/health/mental-health/beauty-brain-research/index.html
[2] https://www.dw.com/en/research-confirms-the-role-of-beauty-in-career-success/a-5469059
[3]https://www.businessinsider.com/studies-show-the-advantages-of-being-beautiful-2013-6
[4] https://www.womenshealthmag.com/beauty/a19910278/doves-choose-beautiful-campaign/