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5 Perfectly Appropriate Times To Be A B*tch

I totally get that the term “bitch” comes from a super sexist, insulting, degrading place. I don’t agree with its history, its use in many situations because people tend to use it when it doesn’t apply, and how the definition changes when said about men. A strong-minded woman in the workplace is a b*tch, a nagging girlfriend is a b*tch, any female on her period is a b*tch. A man who cries is a b*tch, a kid who doesn’t fight his bullies is a b*tch, a guy who’s scared of needles is a b*tch. See the problem? Females are called b*tches when they might only be being assertive, power-hungry, or stubborn. B*tches don’t care about what others think of them, and do what they want, how they want, when they want to. Males are praised for this behavior, yet females are just labeled.

All that aside, personally, I love the word. I love that if you say it in different tones, it completely changes the meaning. Said angrily, you’re talking about someone who’s just horrible in every sense. Happily, you’re talking about a queen/king. Playfully, it’s a bad b*tch who stands out by being different and looking amazing without a care in the world. Dragged out, you’re usually disappointed or frustrated in someone and don’t have anything else to say. The list goes on. I’m pretty biased, but I think of “bitch” as a compliment most of the time and honestly, just a fun word overall. I think that being a b*tch should be normalized and equalized, at that! Men can be b*tches too, in both the good and bad ways. 

Anyway, let’s get to the good stuff. My fellow b*tches, these are the situations where we seize the moment and thrive:

 

When you’re asked for your “honest opinion” in a conversation where a decision is being made.

Go to town. They asked for it, and they probably need to hear it before they make that decision. Keep in mind, “decision” is the main idea here. Refrain otherwise, don’t be that type of bitch. “Am I beautiful?” is not the time. Also, everyone is beautiful, and conventional beauty is what society receives since Satan can’t reach us. But “Does my makeup look good? Be honest,” is the time to tell them that they need to redo their eyeliner because they are two Snapchat filters away from looking like a panda.

 

When a person disrespects you or someone you love for absolutely no reason.

Sexists, racist, ageist, rapists, etc. Homophobes, xenophobes, transphobes, etc. It’s a cruel world. If someone is fat-shaming, slut-shaming, addiction-shaming, identity-shaming, disability/disease-shaming, or any of the rest of them, they don’t deserve respect. It’s always the ones that have nothing better to do with their lives, are insecure about something that they haven’t figured out how to handle, or take pride in being vocal about something controversial. You’ll ruin their day by not giving them the time of yours, and I think you should choose to be the one who has the good day. 

 

When it’s that first day of each month where sh*t starts going downhill.

All bets are off on this day, whether it’s the start of your period, the start of your PMS window, or any other monthly obligation that you are unable to control (the only other things I can think of are if you’re on the birth control shot or you are in the current duration of receiving allergy shots by the month and your immune system is weakened and you can’t do anything because it’s COVID or you’ll die). Anyway, be as cranky as you like. Anyone who says otherwise must need to prove that they have a functioning uterus and that they are medically sane before I fight them anyway.

 

When someone is trying to tell/sell you something that you’ve already nicely rejected.

You’ve taken the high road, now go ahead and b*tch out because sometimes that’s the only way a person can get the hint. It’s a simple process in this case. Step one, you have let them speak, and you have listened and shown that you have heard their input. Step two, you have courteously denied taking part in whatever activity they have asked you to partake in. If it goes past this, your b*tchiness will remind them that as a decent human being, you aren’t supposed to press or pressure others into doing things they don’t want to. PSA to all my nail technicians, I know solar nails are better, but I am B-R-O-K-E.

 

When you absolutely can’t filter the bad juju out in any other way and whoever is around you understands and isn’t in any immediate danger.

In my opinion, no one has the right to tell you how to deal with your own business. Frankly, no one has the right to judge or try to change how you feel about anything. But as smart b*tches who need to connect with others and get through life, we know it’s dumb to be a b*tch at all times. So, we adapt. And, it’s not like we hate all people, we’re just particular. Some might not see it this way, but being a b*tch can be a stress outlet! Knowingly choosing to not always care about others, and instead thinking about yourself at an appropriate time and place is a form of self-care. Those who love you and know you understand that in some cases, you don’t want anything that comes out of your mouth to hold any weight. If you have a good environment, and you’re not really going to do any damage to anyone physically and emotionally, it’s okay to be a b*tch sometimes. Care for yourself, and come out of it the best b*tch you can be. 

 

Allison Ling

Bentley '24

Hey! My name is Allison Ling and I'm from Portland, Oregon. I'm a freshman at Bentley University in Waltham, Massachusetts and my major is currently undecided. I love traveling, finding good eats, and trying new things. I'm excited to share my take on topics such as skincare, lifestyle, and socials through HC. Thanks for reading!
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