A few weeks ago, I wrote to you about nuances I had noticed as a new transfer student on campus. I called it “What BC People Like.” This week, I thought I’d continue that, and bring you what we cannot stand. Here are a few of my thoughts!
The Day after Marathon Monday:
BC people love Marathon Monday. How can you not? You wake up at 8 in the morning, pound down a few (or 9) mimosas, watch runners achieve what you will never be capable of, try to avoid falling over the railings at the race, and end the day passed out on your bed, without remembering at all how you got there.
But then Tuesday comes. You’re still in your pinnie and knee-high socks, sprawled out over your covers like a beached whale, with a sunburn 26.2 miles wide on your back. Your brain feels like the construction crew from the Dustbowl have been drilling on it all night. But you roll out of your bed and head on over to Devlin for your first class anyway, because it starts in five minutes. The walk is like watching a horror film. Dried puke lines the sidewalks as zombies emerge in sweatpants from their caves to follow you to class. One zombie screams, “The light, it burns!” while another tries to wipe excess mascara off her arm, wondering how it possibly got there. You try to walk faster in an attempt to shake the monsters, but you only find more up ahead. The zombies walk slowly up the stairs in O’Neill while you duck and dodge around them.
One minute left. Your headache is holding you back but you keep straight on, and when you finally get there, your professor is commenting on how impressive the runners are for making it all the way from Hopkinton to Boston. Little does she know of the feats we faced getting from Vanderslice to Devlin. Drinking for the marathon may be on par with running.
Waiting for a table at Hillside:
BC people cannot resist the temptation of Hillside paninis, burgers, or coffee. Students pray that they’ll get out early from class so that they can get in line for one. Hillside is great, but there is one thing that BC people cannot stand about it: waiting for a darn table. There are a couple of different techniques BC students use to increase their chances of getting a table.
The first one, I’ll call ‘The Vulture.’ The Vulture technique consists of standing there, scavenging like the crowd are lions and you’re waiting for their leftovers. This is the worst strategy next to, of course, doing nothing at all. A collegiette™ can end up in this position for up to 30 minutes, while her food gets colder and colder.
A better technique I’ll call ‘The Pushy Bostonian.’ The Pushy Bostonian does not stand back and wait while good tables are going to New Yorkers. They attack, like the Eagles that we’re supposed to be, whenever their eyes spy someone taking the last bite of her Turkey and Brie. Once spotted, the victim has no chance of giving her table to that friend who just texted her “Coming to Hillside now. Save me a spot.” The Pushy Bostonian stands over the table, asking “Are you leaving soon?” in her sweetest, most innocent voice, masking the aggressive tendencies she actually has. The Pushy Bostonian technique has about an 80% success rate in a 10-minute period and therefore is the better strategy. Of course, not every student has the capacity to succeed in The Pushy Bostonian technique; it’s an art and an acquired skill.
BU:
I didn’t realize the true extent to which BC people hate BU until I attended The Beanpot this February. It was the second game in the tournament: BC against BU. I braved the mob of people and took the T that night from the Boston College stop, woefully unaware of the trouble that was about to ensue. It was quiet until we hit the BU stops. The train was filled to the brim with BC people, but I didn’t fully understand why BU students would be so scared as to turn right around when they spotted us.
Then finally, a lone one ascended our train. It was as if time stood still. All eyes were on her red and white hockey jersey. She tried to stay on the down low with her phone in her ear, but that didn’t stop anyone. Immediately boys started screaming at this girl. It started innocently enough, with a couple of boys antagonizing her with the typical cheers, like “Where’s your campus?” and “Sucks to BU,” but then it got worse. The entire train joined in. She was defenseless against our numbers. At times she would speak up and say something about BC, but it would do her no good. It was her one voice against our hundreds. She ended up getting off early and, luckily for her, missing the ocean of BC students that rushed the TD Garden. Sucks to be her.
Other Stuff BC People Hate:
– Wearing appropriate clothing for the weather
– Losing your ID and having to get it replaced in Lyons
– People asking for money in Lower
– ResLife
– Picking classes
– Walking up the Million Dollar Staircase
– The O’Connell House (it’s really creepy)
– Having to pay for student tickets for athletic events
– The B-Line (it takes so long)
Photo Sources:
http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/family-vacations-boston-marathon.jpg
http://bcm.bc.edu/issues/winter_2004/ll_hillside.html
http://bostonist.com/attachments/boston_caroline/102007-bu-terriers.JPG