The Boston College campus has many buildings that vary drastically in age, and thus it has many bathrooms that vary in quality. Depending on what you’re looking for, the perfect, um, water closet can be hard to find. Read on to see how 10 major bathrooms on campus scored in terms of crowdedness/wait time, lighting, cleanliness and functionality, and which were ranked best and worst overall.
Top 5 Worst Bathrooms by Category
1. Most Crowded/Longest Wait: Single person bathrooms in Gasson
At some point during construction, a conversation must have taken place between the architects and administrators making decisions about the plumbing in Gasson. I imagine it went something like this:
Architect 1: OMG you guys, I have such a good idea. Let’s spend millions of dollars on a state-of-the-art renovation of Gasson tower, but then let’s only put like five toilets in the entire building.
Father Leahy: LOL sounds good. I am certain that the students will put their 25-minute bathroom wait to good use by praying, and not by obsessively checking social media on their phones while steadfastly avoiding eye contact with their peers.
Architect 2: POS, POS!
I will begrudgingly give these bathrooms a nod for their eco-friendly toilets, but since I have to wait forever to use the bathroom, I always have to rush out and never remember to flush up for number 1 and down for number 2.
Overall Grade: D+
2. Worst Lighting: Rat bathroom
I don’t know about you, but I like a well-lit bathroom, and the Rat just doesn’t do it for me. Two out of three times you’ll be stuck with one of the narrow, cramped stalls that are completely dark and have toilets built for the littlest Smurfs. You could end up in the handicap stall, which is situated directly under the only light in the whole place, but has a gap in the door at least two inches wide. Now you’re well-lit, but anyone waiting on line can look right in at you. Redeeming factor: this bathroom usually has pretty good soap.
Overall Grade: C+
3. Least Clean: Devlin 1st floor
At first glance this bathroom would seem safe, what with its reliable paper towel dispensers and seemingly endless supply of toilet paper, but its location suggests an underbelly seedier than any of us could have imagined. Not only does this bathroom expose you to the germs of half the people leaving Devlin 008, but also to the germs of the hundreds of visitors that pass through each day. Situated just outside the Admissions office, this bathroom probably gets more traffic than any other bathroom on campus. During high school vacation weeks, the Admissions office welcomes over 1,000 visitors per day. How many of those visitors probably have to pee after traveling to our lovely campus? I’m going to go ahead and say most of them. And what is the closest bathroom to the Admissions office? Devlin first floor.
Overall Grade: B-
4. Least Functional: McElroy @ Eagle’s Nest Level
Doesn’t it seem like something in this bathroom is always broken? I would say about half of the doors don’t have locks at all, and the paper towel dispenser on the left is perpetually jammed. There are no hooks on the backs of any of the doors except one, so I have to rest my bag on the floor or sketchily leave it outside. I also think this bathroom must get a lot of traffic… just feels very germy to me.
Overall Grade: D
5. Worst Overall: Carney 1st floor
Built just prior to the first ice age and matched in dinginess only by Walsh, Carney Hall proves to me that dinosaurs once roamed the earth, because it is clear that some enormous prehistoric creatures once used Carney as their toilet. The first floor bathroom provides a thrilling terrifying experience for the adventurous few who dare to drop their pants here. Here is a list of places I would rather go to the bathroom:
1. The Port Authority bathroom
2. A port-a-potty at a Nickelback concert
3. John Wayne Gacy’s house
4. Hell
This bathroom is dark, dank, smelly and always seems to be out of toilet paper and paper towels. It also has a special magnetism that inexplicably encourages people not to flush. Overall, this bathroom is one of my least favorite places on earth. Hashtag complaints. Hashtag first world problems.
Overall Grade: F
Is this really what comes to mind when I say ‘Carney’?
Top 5 Best Bathrooms by Category
1. Least Crowded/Shortest Wait: Walsh Lobby
Three months into my year-long stay in Walsh last year (I’m a little slow), I discovered that there was a bathroom in the lobby of Walsh. Although this bathroom is frequented and kind of trashed by drunk freshmen on the weekends, during the week it is almost always empty and usually pretty clean, with plenty of well-lit stalls and toilet paper. I have never had to wait for a stall in this bathroom!
Overall Grade: B+
2. Best Lighting: Fulton 5th Floor
Although it can be crowded at times due to its proximity to Fulton 511, this bathroom can first and foremost be counted on for breeziness (the windows are open every single day) and, most importantly, its stellar lighting setup. The Rat should take notes.
Overall Grade: B+
3. Cleanest: O’Neill 5th Floor
Although the bathrooms in O’Neill are somewhat vintage, the fifth floor bathroom is off the beaten path and is therefore much cleaner than its second floor counterpart. Sadly this means that it also lacks the charming and extremely creative graffiti that I have come to love on the second floor. However, for what it lacks in kitsch it makes up for in cleanliness; this bathroom never feels or even looks skeevy.
Overall Grade: A-
4. Most Functional: Maloney 1st Floor
Tons of people use this bathroom every day, but it’s still incredibly well taken care of – props to the maintenance staff! This bathroom is great for when you’re getting off the elevator at the end of the day… or when you’re looking for a clean bathroom to use after a night in the Mods. With its reliable paper tower dispensers and decent-quality soap, this bathroom gets a solid A-.
Overall Grade: A-
5. Best Overall: Maloney 5th Floor
Situated just outside the Communications department one floor above the hustle and bustle of the fourth floor elevator stop, the fifth floor bathroom is virtually a haven of cleanliness and solitude. With perfect lighting and spotless floors, sinks and toilets, this bathroom goes above and beyond the call of duty. I have never encountered another human being in this bathroom, and I hope I never do, but I probably will now that I’ve let you in on the secret.
Overall Grade: A+
Happy bathroom hunting!
Photo Sources:
http://www.bc.edu/offices/historian/resources/guide/carney.html
http://www.fromthebathroomwall.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/bathroom-graffiti-nice-poo.jpg