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The Stages of Waiting for a Guy to Text Back

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at BC chapter.

The art of communication after meeting someone you’re interested in is something I’m not sure even Da Vinci could master. Since the advent of texting, girls ritualistically gather together in front of one friend’s phone in attempts to craft her the most casual, but not too casual, funny, yet not too funny SMS message known to mankind. In our futile attempts to beat the game, more often than not we end up disappointed, unsatisfied, and sometimes even a little creeped out by what we get in response. Let’s break it down:

You meet him. Most likely it was in the caverns of a Mod party or while dodging insulation avalanching from the ceiling of an off-campus house. But maybe you’re stuck at the printers in O’Neill, or paired together for an in-class assignment. He’s cute and he seems like he wants to hang out again. So you exchange numbers, and he says he’ll text you.

Inside, you’re like:

But to him you’re like:

Before doing anything else, you consult with your friends about the next steps. They’re very optimistic about all of the potential between the two of you:

So you anxiously craft an incredibly nonchalant text that will be sure to lock in a lunch-date at Lower or an invite to his next pregame. You make sure the text is perfectly worded so that you’re casual, but assertive, effortlessly witty, all the while making sure it sounds like you don’t really care either way. And it usually ends up looking something like this:

Groundbreaking. And then you wait…

And after about 15 minutes, you start to think something’s wrong with your phone:

Then you think, maybe I’ll text him again!

But it usually makes no sense, and you immediately regret it. Your friends try and tell you to just be patient, and to not text him again. But, you somehow find a way to justify repeatedly firing texts in a very unconvincing way

Then, you decide you’re just going to let it go. He’s probably busy, maybe his phone is dead, or he lost it.

But when a couple days pass and you still haven’t heard from him, you start questioning everything.

And your friends are like:

So you send a final text to make sure you’ve covered all your bases:

Which, of course, gets no response. So a couple days later, you apologize in an attempt to save face.

And leave it be. BUT, just when you think you’ll never, ever hear from him ever again…

In some way or another, we all have had this thought process at least once. And if you haven’t? You’re lying. 


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Meghan Gibbons is a double major in Communications and Political Science in her senior year at Boston College. Although originally from New Jersey, she is a huge fan of all Boston sports! Along with her at Boston College is her identical twin, who she always enjoys playing twin pranks with. Meghan is a huge foodie, book worm and beach bum