I am fully aware that I am about to sound like a diva right now, so I am going to start off by saying that I’m really not that much of a diva. Granted, we all have our moments, and I would say I am a pretty leveled person. However, after some careful self-reflection, I have come to terms with the fact that I need, and deserve, a personal assistant. If you, for some odd reason, disagree with me, keep reading to find out the reasons why this new step in my life is a necessity.
1. I’m really bad at organizing things.
I kid you not when I say that I have yet to unpack all of my belongings for college. I have been in my house for approximately a month now, and there are still clusters of boxes all around my house full of clothes, books and other random things that I honestly do not need. As a 20-year-old, I should probably be able to organize these things, but I simply cannot. It would be much easier for everyone if I just had a fun personal assistant who would be willing to do this work for me.
2. I’m also not good at cleaning.
Honestly, I try. I try really, really hard to be good at cleaning. But yet again, I can’t. For one, the smell of Lysol wipes makes me sneeze, and I also really hate the sound vacuums make. It is weird and aggressive, and those are two things I try to avoid in my daily life. If I had a personal assistant, none of this would be an issue, because he or she would be totally happy to do it for me!
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3. Emailing is a lot of work.
I get approximately a million emails every single day. Before you immediately assume this is caused by my online shopping habit, you should know that actual important emails are scattered throughout my inbox. In a perfect world, I would be able to respond to these in a timely manner. In reality, most of the time I will never get to them because I am far too lazy to scroll through the millions of messages. My personal assistant, on the other hand, would be able to breeze through these messages swiftly and gracefully, responding to all the important things, and notifying me of all J. Crew sales.
4. Picking out clothes is exhausting.
Every morning I have to wake up, look at my closet, look at the weather, look at my shoes, look at the weather again, then look at my shoes, then back at my closet (shout out to Boston weather for being consistently inconsistent. Twenty years later and you’re still keeping me on my toes). After all of that, basically just want to get back in bed and take a nap. But, if I had things my way, my personal assistant would wake me up every morning with a beautiful outfit and a latte. What a great friend.
5. Cooking is so much better when someone else does it.
You see, I fully expect my personal assistant to be versatile. And by that, I mean willing to be both a cook and an assistant. I don’t need fancy things everyday, but waking up to pancakes along with my beautiful outfit and latte would not be the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I also really like delicious dinners, but I don’t have oodles of free time (Note: even if I did have “oodles of free time”, I would have used the same statement, for the sole purpose of writing the word “oodles”).
All in all, I think it is pretty evident that I not only deserve, but also desperately need an assistant. I have earned this privilege through my years of organizing, cleaning, emailing, dressing and cooking for myself. These daily struggles could all be solved in an instant if I could just have a personal assistant. If you are interested in applying, please win me over by providing me with baked goods and laughing at my jokes.
Photo Sources:
http://www.mommytracked.com/files/features/pda.jpg
http://www.cursosrosario.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/chef.jpg