Life Lessons Learned in Paris
by Paige Marino
This summer I spent a month studying abroad in Paris, France through a program called “Inspiration on the Streets of Paris.” The course focused on the culture and history of Paris through the eyes of various writers, artists and activists. Somehow, between all of the Nutella crepes and baguettes, I learned a few life lessons while I was there.
1. Don’t be afraid to take risks.
The best lesson I learned in Paris was to stop limiting myself to things I already know. At first, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to go on this trip. The idea of spending a month away from my family and friends in a foreign country seemed absurd to me. Once I convinced myself to go, however, I realized that passing up on this trip would have been a huge mistake. Stepping out of my comfort zone allowed me to learn a lot about myself, and eat a bunch of tasty pastries I would have missed out on otherwise.
2. Remember that there’s nothing wrong with relaxing.
When I first arrived in Paris, I had a list a mile long of things I thought I absolutely needed to do. I had a stack of travel guidebooks three feet high, and if Rick Steves so much as mentioned an attraction, I had no choice but to add it to the list. After spending some time in Paris, though, I realized that this might not be the best approach. I was so consumed with the idea of seeing all of Paris, that I wasn’t appreciating the smaller moments. Once I slowed down, I discovered that my favorite part of studying abroad was living my daily life while pretending to be a real Parisian.
3. Take some time to watch your surroundings.
In class, we learned about flaneurs. A flaneur was a “wanderer” who spent his time observing those around him and writing about what he saw. Although they always watched those around them, they never drew attention to themselves. Flaneurs wrote captivating stories about those that they watched, but they didn’t always have the best reputations because people thought that they were lazy. I strongly disagree with this idea, though, and encourage you to try your hand at flaneur-ing (that isn’t a real word). There’s something therapeutic about making up stories and writing down what you’re thinking. Worst-case scenario is that you take some time to practice your detecting and/or stalking skills.
4. Don’t worry about being confused.
In a typical American day, I am confused more often than not, so you can only imagine how I felt in another country. When I tell you everything confused me, I mean literally, everything. I never even knew which grocery line to stand in, let alone how to navigate around the city without offending every person I came in contact with. At first, I was embarrassed by my lack of social-coordination, but by the end of my trip, I learned to just smile, apologize if necessary, and move on.
5. There’s nothing wrong with finding your comfort zone.
For class, we read A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway. At one point, Hemingway wrote: “You belong to me and all Paris belongs to me and I belong to this notebook and this pencil.” While in Paris, Hemingway allowed himself to become a part of Paris. He didn’t distance himself or put up walls; he accepted the city as his own. It can be difficult to find a “home” in a new place, but as soon as you do, it’ll make your trip a lot easier. For me, when I was feeling homesick, I went to a place called Coutume Café, which had the best cappuccinos, carrot cake like the kind my aunt makes, and a full Jay-Z playlist. I’m pretty sure nothing gets better than that.
6. Other people shouldn’t be able to change your mood.
Before I went to Paris, all I heard about was how rude the people are and how much they hate Americans. I went into the situation with a negative mindset, and I think that made me extra sensitive to any not-so-nice behavior I saw over there. Obviously some people were offensive, but you can find that anywhere! I made a conscious decision to stop letting other people’s behaviors ruin my day. Once I took some time to think about it, I noticed that more often than not, people were incredibly friendly. Most were helpful and very patient as I struggled with their language (My contribution to conversation? “Je suis désolé. Parlez-vous anglais?” [Note: I obviously Google Translated that for the sake of the article.]). If you let yourself become consumed by other people’s bad behavior, you’re also letting them control your feelings. There’s no need to waste time on something like that.
7. Laugh off the little things.
The biggest catastrophe on our Paris trip was the loss of Wi-Fi in our dorm building. This may sound dramatic, but imagine if you were stuck in a strangely scented dorm room with a rock-like mattress and couldn’t even watch trashy American reality TV on your laptop. At first, we were all unhappy about this, but once we found some solutions, things got a lot easier. Some days, we found fun cafés with macaroons and cappuccinos where we could sit and chat as we did our work. Other days, we creepily sat outside hotels with free Wi-Fi for a quick fix. These may not be luxurious solutions, but they definitely gave us a good laugh (once the dorm got Wi-Fi back, of course).
8. Find beauty in things you normally wouldn’t.
Going along with the trend of testing out new waters, I went on a graffiti tour around Paris with my class. When I typically thought of graffiti, I only saw it as vandalism. On this tour, however, I learned that there is actually value to it. We saw beautiful pieces representing political ideas or societal themes all around the city. It gave me a greater appreciation for unique ways of expression.
9. Enjoy small moments.
Toward the end of my trip, a moment occurred that made me feel like I accomplished something huge. As I was walking down the street, a woman stopped me and asked me for directions. The important thing to note is that she asked me… in French. I had successfully tricked someone into thinking that I was actually a Parisian! Of course, I had to just shrug and mumble an apology, because I don’t speak any French, but that didn’t change the sense of achievement I felt.
10. Don’t let insecurities hold you back.
If I haven’t convinced you to start taking chances yet, then I owe you a cupcake or something for wasting your time. One of the easiest ways to stay in your comfort zone is to avoid all things that you might feel insecure about. For me, I’ve always been a little self-conscious about how little I know about art. It’s not something I’ve ever been particularly interested in, so I’ve never really put much thought into it. When I got to Paris and we started visiting museums, I hated not knowing anything. It would have been easy to just forget about it, but instead I challenged myself to try and learn. I asked questions, even if they seemed dumb, and I took the time to do extra research on pieces I really liked. During the trip, we visited some modern art museums, like the Pompidou, and I realized that I really like that type of expression. If I hadn’t taken the time to ask some questions and do some extra work, I would have missed out on a really cool opportunity.
I learned a lot from my recent Parisian adventure and I am really grateful for the opportunity I had. While I would love for you to take my pieces of wisdom, I also encourage you to try something new and see what life lessons you can discover on your own!