Note: This piece is meant to be satirical.
There are few college boys better than Boston College boys. Ranked #10 this year by College Magazine in their annual “Top 10 Colleges with the Hottest Guys,” these boys know how to make any girl weak at the knees. Who else can pull off the lax-bro lifestyle while at a Top 30 ranked college? While most of the boys at BC do seem perfect, there are a few “dealbreakers” that would make any girl turn away a BC boy:
“He’s not in CSOM”
“He doesn’t own 5 pairs of Sperry’s”
“His drink of choice isn’t Rubinoff”
“He’s not a trust fund baby”
“He’s not an athlete”
“He doesn’t go to BC football games”
“He doesn’t wear Nantucket reds”
“He doesn’t hold the doors open for you at Lower”
“He takes the elevator to the 2nd floor in Maloney… from the first”
“He’s the loudest one in Bapst”
“He goes to the Plex less than 8 times a week”
“He gets a salad at Eagle’s”
“He doesn’t go to Late Night”
“He prefers Franzia over Natty Light”
“He doesn’t live in a Mod”
I swear we’re not picky; we just need our guys to have all the criteria we desire. Is that so much to ask for?
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