Being apart from someone you love isn’t easy because being with that person is what makes you happy. I get it. But, I’ll let you in on a little secret: there’s a way to still feel that joy and happiness even when you’re apart. But it takes a little work. If you don’t want to work at it, then a long distance relationship isn’t for you. If you want to put in that little extra effort, then you will have no problem making it work!
I have been in a long distance relationship for a year now and I know how difficult it can be (especially when I was abroad and in a different country and time zone). But we made it! And I would say that we are now stronger than ever. Here are some tips to help you keep your long distance relationship strong.
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Communication. Talking and communicating are different things. Communicating takes patience, listening and sacrifice. Since you won’t be around each other nearly as often as you want to be, you learn to perfect your communication skills. After all, there’s nothing else to do but talk to each other. It can get monotonous, though. “How was your day?” “Good. How was yours?” You have to keep your conversations fun and new each day. Make sure you laugh with each other everyday, too. It may sound dumb, but it brings out that happiness. Also, you have to say what’s on your mind – aka if something is bothering you – because he may not be able to pick up on your body language. A kiss can’t fix the problem this time. The sooner you talk about it, the sooner you can put it in the past. Communicating is the only thing you two have while you’re apart, so get comfortable with it and do it often. Make sure you Skype or video chat and not stick strictly to phone calls. It’s good to see each other’s faces because it is another layer of communication that brings you two closer. Whoever said “distance makes the heart grow fonder” was mistaken. I say: distance makes better communicators.
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Set aside time for each other. College is a busy place, so make sure you set aside a solid amount of time most days to talk or video chat with each other. It’s easy to say “I’m busy,” or “I want to hang out with my friends,” but relationships take work. Your friends will be around all the time. It’s important to feel like part of his life and for him to feel like part of yours.
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It’s the little things. A text message. A picture. A hand-written snail mail letter. A Facebook message. These are all little things, but they can make a huge difference in a relationship. These little things let him know that you’re thinking about him, and vice versa. They will make him smile, which will, in turn, make his and your day that much better. On busy days, these little things may be all you have, so don’t forget! Trust me, you won’t regret it.
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Plan trips ahead of time. Even though spontaneity is great in a relationship, in this case, it may not be, and it will definitely take a hit on your wallet. So book trips in advance. This way you can make sure you visit him when he has time for you, not on a weekend when he is super busy. Plus, saying goodbye won’t be that hard when you have another trip to look forward to.
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Do something together. Just because you don’t live in the same area code doesn’t mean you can’t do things together. You can watch the same TV show or movie, and that gives you something to talk about together that doesn’t involve the words “I miss you,” which can make a phone call a lot more pleasant.
- Try not to get jealous of his girl friends. He is going to be hanging out with his friends a lot since you’re not around, and that will most likely include some girls. It may not seem fair that the other girls get to hang out with your man and you can’t, but you have to show him that you trust him and want him to have a good time. In return, he will do the same for you with your guy friends. Plus, it builds the trust in your relationship.
Photo Sources:
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