When I submitted my security deposit to Boston College, one of my biggest concerns was that my college experience would be contained by a conservative administration run predominantly by white males. To a certain extent this has been true, but more importantly I’ve found that my time at Boston College has been tinted with student activism and the desire to change our campus for the better. Having planned to write this article two weeks ago, I couldn’t be more content with its placement among the dialogue occurring at college campuses nationwide.
Dialogue is not only healthy, it is necessary for growth. I know for many, dialogue about race/class/gender is intimidating either due to the emotionality of the subject or the feeling that you’re not qualified enough or rich enough in experience to have an opinion. FACES helped me compile this list of guidelines for having healthy discussions about sensitive issues. I urge you to keep these tips in mind as you speak with your friends, your classmates, your professors, and your administration in the collective effort to improve our campus and the mindsets of those who inhabit it.
Listen Actively: It is extremely easy to engage in a dialogue without actually engaging. Passive listening isn’t always a conscious act, but it happens often when you are so caught up in expressing your own opinion that you are just waiting for the other person to finish their thought. This is a difficult one, but true dialogue is all about the give and take, so listen actively to what others say so that they are encouraged to do the same for you.
Acknowledge Your Privilege: I know that this is a touchy subject, but I really think to get to an open and honest place of dialogue, acknowledging your own privilege is a necessity. I am a straight, white female from a low-income family at Boston College—some of these classifications might normalize and even improve my position on campus, and others may not. Your privileges can sometimes separate you from the heart of an issue and keep you from fully understanding multiple sides of discussions regarding race/class/gender. Acknowledging your privilege automatically puts you in an open position to hear the opinions of others.
Be Honest: Everyone’s experiences and opinions are valid, and as much as it pains you (and me) to hear someone’s misguided and uninformed opinions, the only thing you can do is be completely honest with them about your own thoughts, feelings, and experiences on the subject.
Respect the Experiences of Others: People’s backgrounds shape their opinions, and it is impossible to fully understand the weight of another’s life experiences. It is possible and expected, however, to empathize with others and to respect their experiences as true and important, even if you don’t agree with the opinions that have grown from them.
Be Willing to Learn and Change: FACES cannot stress enough the importance of coming into a dialogue from a place of wanting to learn, rather than aggressively or defensively pushing your own beliefs. Every healthy discussion should begin with open minds and the mutual understanding that change and growth are inevitable (and good!).
Photo Sources:
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