High School vs. College Relationships

Less than 2% of marriages are to a high school sweetheart and 28% of college graduates reported meeting their spouse in college.

There is clearly a big difference between these two numbers, but why?

In high school, we’re all still “finding ourselves.” The hectic mixture of parents, sports practices, nightly homework, musical rehearsals, part-time jobs, and trying to have a social life to top it all off was nearly impossible. Adding a relationship to the mix was just one more thing.

During my senior year, all “serious” couples broke up around March and April. Leaving for college was approaching and difficult circumstances led to numerous breakups. It wasn’t because either he or she lost interest or didn’t have time, but simply because they were going to different colleges.

High school allowed us to still be kids. The responsibilities we had in high school are almost nothing compared to what it’s like in college. Groceries were free and that was a beautiful thing. Dates were either a trip to the mall or movies or to a Friday night football game or hanging out in a friend’s basement. You saw your bf about two or three times a week outside of school, but only if your parents were okay with it.

In college we have a clearer sense of self. We know who we are, what we want to accomplish, and what we value in a relationship. There are internships, club meetings, and studying for exams, but having a social life and relationship are not as hard to balance in college than in high school.

Relationships in college are mature. You have so much freedom in college, but that shouldn’t be a reason to do whatever you want. Parents won’t be around to tell you when to come home (if you come home that is) and you will probably see your boyfriend every day. Don’t lose yourself in the freedom so much that you disregard other relationships in your life. Roommates and girls nights are blessings and very much a necessity.

If the college relationship is serious, the reason for the break-up will not be due to circumstance. Probably the two people lost each other somehow. LDR can work if the relationship is strong enough and the two people are committed enough. Most high school relationships cannot survive the test of distance.

Don’t take college too seriously but also don’t forget about all your new responsibilities⏤

laundry, groceries, cleaning bathrooms, staying healthy, and studying just to name a few.

The bottom line is to find what makes you happy and stick with it. Regardless, the people who love you will support you through anything. Life is full of surprises and healthy relationships are one of life’s great blessings.