“You know this is all crap, right?”
After thumbing through the pages of Cosmo, one of my guy friends announced this while we were hanging out late one night. Although none of us said anything, I could tell that we were all agreed with him to varying degrees. A few moments passed, and the group began to talk about a completely different topic.
That night, I did not really think anymore about my friend’s comment, but in the following days I began to think more and more about what he had said. Did guys really think Cosmopolitan was complete crap? Did girls think this about Cosmo too, or did they take the many sex tips as truth? I have never been a devoted follower of Cosmo, but from what I saw in the few issues that I’ve borrowed from friends, I thought that a lot of it was garbage. However, in order to gain a better perspective on the subject, I decided to see how guys and girls feel about the famous magazine.
Guys:
When it comes to Cosmo, guys do not have a resounding, singular response. Responses range from disbelief at the inaccuracies to ambivalence about the subject. Some, like my friend above, have looked at Cosmo and found it to be complete garbage, especially the sex tips. Not all of the suggestions should actually be carried out. In some cases, it would create an awkward situation, while in others, it would just be considered wrong. These men did admit that some tips are good to do, but the majority of the tips are not.
Some males are more ambivalent on the subject. They don’t see it as complete trash because they understand that there are equivalent magazines for men, which have similar content. As one sophomore guy explained, “I don’t particularly have interest in it [Cosmo], but there is obviously a large population of young girls who find the magazine’s content useful. If I had to compare it to a men’s magazine, I would say it’s comparable to Men’s Health, which offers readers sex advice, new apparel, and, of course, fitness tips. I don’t think many women would find my reading Men’s Health offensive or degrading. The same is true for Cosmo.”
Girls:
Like guys, girls have different feelings when it comes to Cosmo. While I received a unanimous, positive response towards the style, makeup, and hair advice, the rest of the magazine (the sex tips) received a different response. Women tend to agree that most of the sex advice is geared towards women pleasing men, but they are divided in their perspective. Some of them do try to look at these articles in a more positive light. They saw the advice as a way to control men, rather than just appease them. As one sophomore girl explained, “It definitely teaches women how to please men, but I would say that in a way, it empowers women because it gives you control over your guy.”
However, many girls echo the opinion of many of the guys. According to this group, Cosmo is trash. One freshman girl vented, “I really think that the sex articles are really only put there to make women feel like they are in control, but really, it just teaches them to give in to what their men want, which is complete crap!” From this side, instead of empowering women, Cosmo is degrading women and demoting them to an inferior status. Both groups had an interesting take on the issue, showing that even among the target audience (women), opinions are divided.
With titles like “77 Sex Positions in 77 Days,” “Have a 15-Minute Orgasm, Really!,” and “His Favorite Time to Have Sex,” one can see why both guys and girls feel the way that they do about Cosmo. It places sex at the forefront of people’s minds, upsetting them over the inaccuracy or the promotion of male satisfaction, or creating a sense of ambivalence. The covers, alone, scream this out as you walk by them. On the blog Darrenbarefoot.com, the author shows the most common words found on the cover of Cosmo. Guess what the most common word was? (Drum roll, please……)
“SEX!”
Plurals, and words like “sexy” and “sexiest” were placed under “sex”. The words “men” and “guys” closely follow, but are not even close to the sheer prominence with which the word “sex” takes up on Cosmo covers. Cosmo isn’t the only magazine that prominently displays this formerly taboo subject. Maxim and Men’s Health are culprits as well. They use sex to grab our attention and to sell their magazines, ultimately leaving the buyer perplexed or aggravated with their content.
So, what does this exactly say about our society? Men think that Cosmo is either trash or forgettable written material. Women think of it as either empowering or degrading, but always as subjecting women to men’s pleasure. Then why do we buy it instead of other magazines, like InStyle, Seventeen, or even Women’s Health, which also contain beauty, style, and health (including sex-related) tips?
I don’t think that we can ever answer that fully. Maybe it provides humor? Maybe it assuages curiosity? It could be any number of things.
As one senior girl describes the magazine, “Cosmo can be a fun, entertaining read if you don’t take it too seriously. The sex tips are sometimes informative, but often times they are a bit too out there for your everyday romp. I also feel that the magazine as a whole reinforces our cultural norm – that women are attractive and worthwhile as long as they gain attention from men/please men, which is a dangerous notion. In a way, it’s a catch-22. It’s good for women to feel comfortable discussing sex and feeling confident in their abilities, but it’s not so good for those conversations to revolve around your partner’s experience/wants/needs without addressing your own.”
Next time you walk to pick up your copy of Cosmo (to devour or to heckle), just remember that guys and girls have different opinions about those sex tips. So, think twice about using sex tip #68 or #99** because it might not be appreciated.
**Those are completely random numbers.
Photo Sources:
http://celebritychatta.com/2011/02/28/cosmopolitan-april-2011-olivia-wilde/
http://www.thegossipwrapup.com/2011/01/coverin-it-mila-kunis-for-cosmopo…
http://www.darrenbarefoot.com/archives/2010/08/what-are-the-messages-of-…
http://jujerbeanz.tumblr.com/post/3585344922/cosmo-is-sexist