It is mid-November now; the weather is starting to get colder, school is starting to pick up, and no doubt there have been some disagreements with friends, boys and our families. I know that for me, this year has been a tough one. Let us not forget that after all the mental and emotional strain of our day-to-day activities, it doesn’t help to come home to a messy house or dorm room. So here is some helpful advice in the hopes that it will help get your life back on track and make the end of the semester easier than the start.
Friends:
1) Don’t be afraid to confront your friends if something is bothering you:
We all know that living with friends can make things that much harder. You can be afraid to put stress on your friendships, but trust me from personal experience it is better to be straight forward and honest. Being passive aggressive is only a temporary fix and can result in even more tension in the house or dorm.
2) Past history does not justify bad behavior:
You don’t have to excuse someone just because you know that this is just “them.” Again, if something is bothering you and is annoying, then just tell them!
3) It is great to have a really good friend, but you should not allow yourself to become co-dependent:
This is an issue near and dear to my heart. I would say that I am really close to all my friends, but I do have one or two that I have now grown extremely attached too. Now I’m at the point that I joke that it’s like I’m dating them. It is great to have people that you can count on, but everyone should also work on having some independent time for themselves. Try doing errands on your own, or going to dinner alone, or watching TV alone. These are things that you can do to help yourself become more independent.
4) Boundaries are good:
Let’s all agree that even though you will always say yes to your friends borrowing your clothes, I think we can agree that it’s always better if a friend asks first.
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Room:
1) Evaluate space and be honest. Do you have the room for whatever it is that you think you need?
We all like to over decorate our rooms and make it a personalized space, but be honest with yourself. If you don’t have the wall space take, then take that picture home. If you don’t have the floor space, then don’t buy the fold up coach. Be reasonable people – it’s not worth it to lose the space.
2) Put away your clothes! It takes just a minute, so just do it!
Okay, I totally understand that when you get home from a long day of classes the last thing you want to do is clean your room, but it really just takes a minute. If you take a minute out of every day, then you won’t ever have to take long periods of time out of your day.
3) Keep your work space and books organized:
A clean desk only helps. If your work space is neat and tidy, it helps keep you calm.
4) Keep a space for toiletries and keep them there:
If you have a designated area, then it is that much easier to keep it clean. This all goes back to making it easier for you to stay clean. If you have a designated space for everything, then that helps to keep your whole space organized.
5) The dinner table is your dinner table and your bed is your bed, keep them separate!
No one likes having crumbs in their bed. And let’s be honest… we all eat in our beds too much. If you try to keep your bed and dinner table separate, then you won’t have to wash your sheets as much and that’s always a plus! Less laundry and a cleaner area to sleep.
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Boys:
1) Be honest about what you want:
Saying what you want doesn’t make you demanding. Remember that a relationship is give and take. If you feel like you’re relationship is uneven, then bring that to the attention of your significant other.
2) Don’t sell yourself short:
You are awesome! Remember that. If someone doesn’t recognize that you are great, then they are not worth your time.
3) If it doesn’t work, then move on. There is always someone else out there:
We have all been through break ups. They suck no matter what end you are on. I, however, have come to believe that you can really fall in love with anyone. If it doesn’t work out with one person, don’t beat yourself up as you will find someone else who has all the qualities you are looking for.
4) If you’re single, so what? You’re young, enjoy it!
Being single isn’t a bad thing! College is the time to be single. You can have some fun and hang out with a lot of people. Take this time to figure out what qualities you want in a relationship and just have some fun.
5) If you’re in a relationship, awesome!
Just be honest with your significant other and try to remember you are young so enjoy the time you spend together! If you have issues, try to talk them through. And just like with every other kind of relationship and friendship, be honest and try not to be passive.
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Classes:
1) Calendars are your friends:
Writing everything down can help keep your agenda organized. If you are organized, then it will be easier to get everything done.
2) Keep a separate work space guys!
If you keep an area to work and an area for fun, it will help you get into the studying mood when you sit down at the work space.
3) Don’t be afraid to use “self-control”:
Have you guys heard of this handy-dandy tool? It is great people! What does it do? Basically, you can enter all the sites that distract you from doing work and then you can temporarily block them. It helps you stay away from any of your online distractions.
4) Email and see professors; even if you know what you’re doing:
You don’t realize that emailing and meeting with your professors goes a long way. It helps your professors know that you care about the class (even if you don’t). When you are in a big lecture hall, your professors may not know who you are and putting in the extra effort to get to know them will only help you in the class.
Families:
1) Parents have missed you, so play nice!
We have all missed our families, but for some of us this is the first time going home since arriving at school in September. I know my freshmen year I was excited to go home, but then I got frustrated living at home. I had a few arguments with my mom. I learned something though: my relationship with my family had changed because I no longer lived at home. Once I realized this, going home for holidays and the summer was way more fun.
Sources:
http://www.personal.psu.edu/afr3/blogs/siowfa12/2012/12/break-ups.html
http://www.2catsandchloe.com/2011/02/step-two-get-organized.html