For many years, I was deceived by the notion of happily-ever-after. From Disney Princesses to modern day rom-coms, I was conditioned to believe that, one day, my prince charming would come along. I bought into the highly overused and exaggerated version of “true love”. And now all I can say is, can I get a refund?
You start off as an innocent young girl playing dress up, waiting for someone to rescue you from your ivory tower, waiting to put on that glass slipper and then, years later, you’re still playing dress up, still waiting for your prince. Except, these days, you obviously realize that he won’t be the leader of a kingdom coming to court you on horseback; he’ll be the boy-next-door or the captain of the football team (maybe both). He could even be the brooding, mysterious figure silently writing poetry in the back of your chemistry class. And, these days, although you might not get moonlight serenades or a ticket to the ball, you still dream of epic displays of affection from these swoon-worthy characters.The loner punching his fist in the air because he got the girl. The jock who ditched his “hot” girlfriend for the plain jane. Sadly, by the time you are done crafting these stories and imagining yourself in these fairytales, you realize you didn’t get to slow dance in a beautiful dress with the man of your dreams and you didn’t fall madly in love. You realize your fantasies never played out in reality. And what’s more, even if they did, do those experiences remotely suggest a possibility of forever, a chariot ride into the sunset? Unlike commercialized fairytales, love isn’t given a set number of chapters or 2 hours worth of film. There are these things called responsibility and commitment that intertwine with the unpredictability of life that fairytales fail to acknowledge or examine.
It’s not to say that love doesn’t exist, because it does, just not in the way we are groomed to believe. In our quest to identify this moment of wonderstruck, it’s as if we have romanticized romance. Fairytales gave me this outline of love: an all-consuming, all-conquering passionate emotion. But now, that seems ridiculous and unattainable. What if I look for someone who I’ll have strong feelings toward for an undesignated amount of time? What if I gravitate toward stability and convenience? It doesn’t make me a princess but it also doesn’t leave me disappointed when forever is sold without a warranty.
I recognize that this seems rather dramatic and cynical. After all, there must be some examples of epic love stories. Couples that have stayed together in spite of obligation and routine, couples that honestly found their one true love. But I must ask this: if all love stories are epic, are any love stories epic? That is to say, if everyone got the chance to spend forever with their better half, would the elevated phrase “epic love story” even exist? It may happen, but it’s an anomaly; only for the few that wished upon just the right star.
The fairytale, though it goes unnoticed, is your first real heartbreak. Because, once, you fell in love with the idea, the guarantee, of happily-ever-after and then, slowly, over time, you realized that not everyone is destined for those magical ending credits. With that being said, it doesn’t mean that not everyone is destined for love. Love is what it is. It’s passionate and reckless, and, yet, under no circumstances does it promise monogamy, honesty, or permanence. So, when you encounter love, take advantage of it and embrace it as a fleeting moment. Understand that there is a flaw in the fairytale, and that despite this, we can still cherish the act of falling of love without assuming forever is included in the experience.
Photo Source:
https://singlegalz.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/cinderella324.jpg
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