You are living in the past
You may be holding on to a relationship that doesn’t exist anymore. The memories of the good ole’ times may be clouding your judgment of the current state of relationship affairs. Daniela Tempesta, licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert says, “Your commitment to your relationship should be based on your current feelings for your partner and the actual state of the relationship.”
Your interests are growing apart
Couples often discover that their lack of common interests start to put a strain on the relationship. James Morrison, PhD, a family and interpersonal communication expert, calls this the “differentiating stage.” Morrison says that during this phase, “much of [a couple’s] talk starts to be about how different they are, and their arguments start to be about their incompatibilities.”
The “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”
Conflict is normal in a relationship; however, negative behaviors should not exceed positive behaviors. Kelly Rossetto, an interpersonal communication professor at Boston College, says, “There are four main negative communication practices to avoid: criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness.” These four patterns are known as the “four horsemen of the apocalypse.” Rossetto says, “These patterns seem to strongly predict relationship demise.”
You are forced to compromise
Compromise is essential in any relationship, but these compromises shouldn’t corrupt any individual’s values. Tempesta says, “Constantly having to sacrifice your own sense of self to be in a relationship can make us start to doubt our values, beliefs, and self-worth.” If you begin to doubt yourself, this will lead to doubt in your relationship.
You feel anxious and at fault
A relationship should be a source of comfort, not anxiety. Tempesta says, “If you are always anxious about what your partner is doing or how they feel for you, this will eat away at the relationship and your own sense of self.” Moreover, the relationship may deteriorate from this anxiety, caused by a lack of emotional stability in your relationship.
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