*This article is meant to be satirical, and is comprised of stories that have been slightly altered to protect those involved.
Cohabitation is simply a fancy, university-approved word that means canoodling, snuggling, purpling (red and blue…get it?), fornicating, and the like. The fact that you can get documented for cohabitation makes sense to someone who attends a Jesuit university, but those who don’t have an extremely hard time comprehending exactly why there is a university policy against cohabitation. So, I figured I would outline for you some of the dangers of cohabitation.
First, let’s talk about roommates. Cohabitation is certainly a dangerous endeavor when there are more than two people present in the room…that can get awkward. It gets even more awkward when your roommate decides to get up, leave, and bring the RA back into the room. Oh boy.
Or that time a girl on your floor and her significant other cohabitate in the sophomore girls’ bathroom shower…AT 10AM. Those are prime bathroom hours, people. But also props to you, public cohab is definitely a solid way to start your day.
How about when you bring a casual cohabber back to what you think is your room on a Saturday night, but instead is your best friend’s room next door? That’s definitely NOT why she gave you her code. Hey….this isn’t my pillow…
Or when you wake up super excited on a Saturday morning to say hi to your suitemate, so you run into her room and jump on her bed only to find two distinct bodies underneath you. Yikes.
And finally, to drive home the serious risk you undertake when deciding to cohabitate, here’s a little story from the perspective of an RA. Cohabitation, like other policy violations, is extremely risky when your job description is to enforce policy. So how about that time an RA cohabitated with her boyfriend, only to wake up to an 8am fire alarm in the building and having to evacuate in front of all of her residents as well as her staff. Now, if that’s not a great way to start off the spring semester, I don’t know what is.
Photo Sources:
http://njdivorceblog.typepad.com/new_jersey_divorce_law_me/cohabitation/
http://news.asiaone.com/news/diva/50-cent-singles-okay-cohabitation