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A Comprehensive Account of My Failed Attempts at Being a Morning Person

Her Campus Placeholder Avatar Meaghan Leahy
Her Campus Placeholder Avatar Kelsey Damassa
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at BC chapter.

I have been sleeping in my entire life.  I never cried as a baby, I just refused to move.  I can nap in the middle of the day and still be able to fall asleep at night.  I can go to bed early, we’re talking 9 p.m. and wake up at 2:36 in the afternoon with only a vague idea of what day it is.  I make these great plans for myself of getting up early and being productive and then all of a sudden my alarm is blaring and I’ve hit snooze five times and my roommate is shaking me awake and ugh, where am I?  Did I skip class again?!  What year is it?

People have recommended coffee.  People have not yet realized that I take my vanilla creamer with a splash of coffee in it, and vanilla creamer has a very low caffeine level.  People have also not yet realized that I am in the middle of a nine-year battle with Diet Coke addiction and caffeine is starting to lose its affect on me.

I’ve tried to arrange my class schedule so that I have to get up in the morning and I always do get up, but I am never quite functional in class.  My morning workouts are never spectacular, and my general interactions with the public are just plain dismal.

Me sleeping at a picnic table in Disney World’s Animal Kingdom in the middle of the day, as a family of functional humans observes me from afar.

This past week I started my first job here on the Heights (as a junior, whaddup college loans…) as an Equipment Desk Attendant at the Plex and my shift is the 5:45-9 a.m.  Oh, what’s that you ask, AM or PM.  IT’S THE 5:45-9 A.M. SHIFT ON MONDAYS.  MONDAYS.  5 A.M.  MONDAYS.  I’m going to be a real happy camper this year.  Here’s the breakdown of what happened this week.

We are now observing a wild Meg/Snorlax in her natural habitat (surroundings include a sheet, a quilt, three extra blankets, two pillows, one body pillow, one boyfriend pillow, my eyeglasses and phone stuffed under said pillows):

 

4:50 a.m. – First round of alarms go off.  Meg reaches under pillow and hits snooze in record time.  She keeps her thumb on the volume button so as to expedite the next snooze-button-hitting-process.

4:59 a.m. – The snooze of the 4:50 alarm goes off.  Meg turns it off without even moving, but is then bothered by the 5:00 alarm.  She hits snooze again and carries on sleeping.

5:15 a.m. – There is now an alarm going off every thirty seconds because the snoozes and the individual alarms are not synced up and Meg finally throws the covers off herself and storms over to the shower.  She forgets her glasses.  She hits the entire right side of her body on the doorframe.

5:30 a.m. – Meg reaches for the shower gel in the caddy.  While closing the door she almost slips and falls, and manages to get shampoo in her eyes.

5:35 a.m. – With ten minutes until her shift starts, Meg is starting to feel the pressure and tries to multitask brushing her teeth, getting dressed, and making coffee all at once.  Verdict: she does have sparkling fresh teeth, and does get her uniform on, but spills the entire first cup of coffee while trying to transfer it from the Keurig-friendly mug into her too-tall-tumbler.  Meg is unamused.  Meg makes a second cup and takes the Splenda to go.

5:45 a.m. – Meg successfully runs across the Mod Lot from 90 and clocks in on time, but she dropped the two Splenda packets somewhere and doesn’t know where they are and she’ll be damned if she has to drink this coffee black so she settles for water.

The rest of the shift proceeds as normal as someone’s first shift on the job with no experienced employee to help her remember how to use the computer can actually go.  Meg goes to class at 10 a.m.  Meg then naps until her next class at 2 p.m.  She is totally looking forward to next Monday.

 

So, following this field study of a Wild Meg in her natural habitat, I will conclude with something that really grinds my gears.  There are some hipster, inspirational, Pinterest-y pictures out there with some nameless skinny girl partying or hopping a fence or whatever and with the phrase “You never remember the nights you got the most sleep,” emblazoned across the image. You know what? No, okay? I ALWAYS remember the nights I got the most sleep because I wake up the next morning/afternoon thinking, “Oh, wow, I feel so refreshed and rested. That was great, can I do it again?” Okay, Tumblr? Hop off my sleeping habits.

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Meaghan Leahy is a 21-year-old native New Yorker and senior at Boston College, whose hips only sometimes lie. When she's not wishing she were as honest as Shakira, she can be found running, Band-ing, or public speaking; in addition to writing for HC BC, she is a member of the Screaming Eagles Marching Band, Word of Mouth, and loves a good lap (or two, or five) around the Res. Meg is passionate about running and fitness, is a trained lifeguard, and works at the campus gym Equipment Desk. A highlight of her Boston College career thus far was being a TA for Intro to Feminisms. She has interned at both Anthropologie and the Supreme Court in Brooklyn, New York, so even though she is pursuing a Communication and English double major with a Women's and Gender studies minor, she is still trying to map it all out. She really, really hopes to graduate with a real job and everything. Please hire her, despite her severe Diet Coke addiction. Her redeeming skills and qualifications can be found on her LinkedIn account.
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Kelsey Damassa is in her senior year at Boston College, majoring in Communications and English. She is a native of Connecticut and frequents New York City like it is her job. On campus, she is the Campus Correspondent for the Boston College branch of Her Campus. She also teaches group fitness classes at the campus gym (both Spinning and Pump It Up!) and is an avid runner. She has run five half-marathons as well as the Boston Marathon. In her free time, Kelsey loves to bake (cupcakes anyone?), watch Disney movies, exercise, read any kind of novel with a Starbucks latte in hand, and watch endless episodes of "Friends" or "30 Rock."