As we approach the winter season, I find myself unable to contain my excitement. It seems that not only me, but the entire world, is anxiously awaiting the coming of the Child. No, I’m not talking about Jesus. I’m talking about Destiny’s Child.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you are all aware of the fact that my queen, Beyonce, is with child. This was announced at the MTV VMAs in August when, after her surreal performance of her hit single “Love On Top,” Bey unbuttoned her purple sequined blazer and rubbed her tummy, making her big secret public. Meanwhile, in the audience, Kanye West pounced on an elated Jay-Z. What a moment. Now, you may be wondering what separates this celebrity pregnancy from all others? Allow me to explain.
Beyonce and Jay-Z are America’s Power Couple. Seriously, don’t they make you all tingly and patriotic inside? Talented, gorgeous, and oh-so in love, they are the closest thing we Americans have to Will and Kate. They’re perfect. And this is why I’m picturing their child– confirmed as yes, a girl– to be some sort of demi-god. Specifically, I’m envisioning the diva-tude of Suri Cruise, combined with the adorableness of Violet Affleck, and the voice of Aretha Franklin.
I can see it now. She’ll most likely have a classy, yet exotic name, like Jasmine or Maya. Her nursery will probably be a cream color, with a subtle leopard print splashed here and there. Beyonce will croon her to
sleep with a casual a cappella rendition of “Halo.” Jay-Z will dress her in a Yankees onesie, and they’ll go on family walks with baby in the stroller. Her first word will be “bootylicious.”
Sasha Fetus may have one glamorous life ahead of her, but I’m confident her parents will raise her right, too. Jay-Z has stressed the fact that his daughter will not be “one of those rich socialites” and that he wants to provide for her in a way his father never did for him. He’s said, “Providing– that’s not love. Being there– that’s more important.” Beautiful words, Jay. Spoken like a true hustler/father-to-be.
Although Beyonce isn’t due until February 2012, it’s never too early to start the baby hype. Throw a Beyonce-themed baby shower with your friends. Go watch all the Single-Lady-dancing-baby videos on YouTube. Do whatever you need to prepare for the countdown to the second most awaited infant in history.
Photo Sources:
http://justjared.buzznet.com/2011/08/28/beyonce-vmas-performance-after-announcing-pregnancy/
http://poponthepop.com/gallery/beyonce-and-jay-z-pregnant/
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