Studying abroad is bound to produce a mixture of emotions. Anything ranging from fear to excitement should be expected. However, the one thing I never thought would keep me from being entirely excited about the whole experience (I’m going to be studying abroad in Rome this semester) is my relationship.
Many of my friends are faced with the same dilemma since some of them are going abroad while their partner is staying at BC. Fortunately for me, both of us will be studying abroad at the same time, making the situation a little easier, yet still challenging.
So, after a semester of hearing what some of my friends in long term, serious relationships are doing to make it work and figuring out my own plans, I figured I had enough knowledge to share with those of you who are either getting ready to study abroad or will be in the near future, how to make your relationship work.
Communication, honesty, and trust are three of the most important things to consider when studying abroad while you’re in a relationship. Come up with a schedule that works for both of you (whether it’s Skyping once a month and Facebook messaging whenever possible). Figuring this schedule out before you go abroad will leave you feeling a lot better and a lot more connected. These are extremely important to any kind of successful relationship, but because you are solely relying on verbal communication, it’s extremely important that you employ all three of these during your time away from each other.
Figure out a plan that works for both of you. Keep in mind that studying abroad is a once in a lifetime opportunity and it should be treated as such. While you may love being with your boyfriend, and the thought of either of you hooking up with someone else terrifies you, you need to be realistic. One of the most exciting parts about going abroad is the idea that you are able to go out to nightclubs or a bar and not have to worry about your age.
Now, I’m not saying that every time you go out you have to hook up with someone. However, I am saying that it is important to be realistic in your expectations of each other. Neither of you should set boundaries on each other that are so strict that when you get back you will regret what you didn’t do, or even worse, resent the other person.
Be open to hearing what is important to the other person and find a compromise that works for the two of you. For example, if he really wants to be able to go out to clubs and dance with other girls, and you feel like that’s an experience you’d like to have as well, then look at it as a way of keeping your relationship together rather than looking at his dancing with another girl as a way of getting away from you.
If you and your significant other are lucky enough to be studying abroad on the same continent then make sure that you plan trips to visit each other or meet up in a country that excites both of you. Nothing is more exciting than experiencing something new with the person you love. Plus, you’ll both want to see a familiar face once you’ve been abroad awhile.
Studying abroad is a once in a lifetime opportunity and, while your relationship may seem like the most important thing in the world to you, it is important to acknowledge the fact that you will change as people (whether or not you are abroad) and know that as long as you have open communication your relationship will be fine.
Photo Sources