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Sex + Relationships

Tips for Texting Someone You Want a Relationship With

     For most people, texting has become part of your daily routine. Texts are sent on the commute to work, sitting on the toilet, jogging in the morning, and while twirling pasta at dinner. In the past decade, texting has become an essential form of communication between friends, family, co-workers, and partners. Most of the time, those quick taps of letters on the screen are not overly thought out. That is until you're texting someone you're interested in. The questions of when do I text, what do I say, and more overplay in your head and the entire weight of your romantic future relies on what you type. No pressure. 

     Texting plays an important role in the early stages of relationships, so treat it as such. Whether you met on a dating app or you're trying for a second date, texting factors into your communication with the other person and what will happen next. Will you go on that second date or will they forever be a penpal in your contacts list? Here are ways to improve your texting games so you can get the relationship you want. 


Respond Naturally

     The biggest mistake people make is waiting to text someone back because they want to appear busy and important. While you should not always be by your phone stalking your texts, if they respond when you're on your phone, text them back. Have that conversation and build the natural energy you have when texting back and forth for ten minutes. People can tell when you're not responding in an attempt to look cool, so have text naturally when you are free and have that authentic communication.


Try a New Medium

     Often time texting can get bland and people feel the need to solely stick to text as the form of communication outside of in-person conversations. Do not stress about changing it up; it will make you look more interesting and show your personality. Try sending memes, TikToks, voice memos, or set up a call or FaceTime. Changing the medium when it feels like the conversation is dragging. This can be a much-needed break in the pattern that shows you are playful. I guarantee they will want to keep talking to you!


Watch Your Tone

     Texting cannot fully convey emotions or voice inflections. It is hard to gauge tone through text. Something you meant to be sarcastic, may be taken seriously and end in some uncomfortable tension. People often can be too passive over text as well, which can send mixed signals. Make sure you are being direct with your feelings, while also minding the wording of texts. You can still be funny and show your personality, but check that your tone comes across in the way you intended it to.


Consider Your Grammar

     While it is normal to make mistakes when typing, don't use texting lingo often as it comes across lazy and childish. People should not have to google the abbreviations you are using, but the occasional 'lol' is fine. In terms of ending a sentence, the overuse of exclamation points can be annoying or seen as desperate; only use them when they fit into the sentence naturally. While putting a period at the end of a sentence is grammatically correct, it has a sense of finality. 


Change Your Dynamic

     Easily the biggest complaint about texting is that it gets boring. People get tired of talking about seemingly nothing and the 'okay lol' messages do not move the conversation forward. Try to focus on the energy of your texts to properly convey your personality, while also switching it up to create a new dynamic. For example, if you're always being nice, be bossy to create some sexual tension. Make sure you talk about how you're feeling about situations in addition to describing what you did to show vulnerability. Changing your energy at various points can keep that spark alive and make that person want to continue texting you. 


     Texting does not always come naturally, but it can be improved on. Do not hesitate to tell someone you are interested in that you're not great at communicating over text, but you want to try because of them. It will show your vulnerability and a willingness to learn, which will only make you more attractive. Find ways to implement these tips in texting someone you're interested in and see which works best for you, with the goal of making plans and getting to know them better.

Cassie Nataro is a junior statistics major at Baylor University. She is from Easton, Pennsylvania, just a little north of Philadelphia. When she is not listening to a podcast, she can be found working at a local restaurant, studying around Waco, closing her watch rings or hanging out with her friends. Some of her favorite things include breakfast foods, swimming, cult documentaries, witty banter, cross stitching and vegan baked goods.
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