Some days…I wake up with a smile on my face. I hop out of bed, do my shower routine, and play my favorite tunes as I dance myself down the stairs to the kitchen. I make breakfast and coffee for my roommate and me and leave it outside of her door. I go in my closet and have fun picking out whatever fashion concoction I am feeling like that day. Maybe I put some makeup on, or maybe I didn’t finish the reading for that day. So I sit in my study nook and finish my homework before heading off to class. Some days, I just feel good.
But, some days… I go to bed really early because I would rather get extra sleep than feel the way I am feeling. Some days, I wake up at 4am and can’t seem to fall back asleep. So I toss and turn until finally, I drift off to sleep… only for my alarm to ring 15 minutes later. I open my eyes groggily but can’t seem to find the energy to want to get out of bed. I just lay there, completely unmotivated and not feeling any better than the night before. I force myself to get up because I have to go to the bathroom. I dread picking out an outfit. I dread going to make breakfast, and for some reason, I can’t seem to stop crying. Some days, I just feel bad.
Some days, I get to make tik toks with my roommates, study with my classmates, and have game nights with my friends. I am constantly surrounded by people who never fail to make me laugh, smile, and feel the love. I am so lucky to have a support system that constantly cheers me on and encourages me to reach my goals. Some days I just feel loved.
But some days, I feel so overwhelmed that I do not want to be around anyone. I feel so lonely, but the last thing I want to do is be around people. I do not want to do anything except curl up in a ball and hug my squishmallows. Some days I just feel lonely.
Some days, I talk to twenty different people on my way across campus, and some days I blast my music loud enough to tune out all other noises. Some days I dread getting out of bed and can barely convince myself to go to class, and some days I work so hard on a presentation I can’t wait to dress up and give it to my class.
Some days are good, and some days are bad. But, I know I cannot have the good without the bad. I know that I need to simply allow myself to feel the feelings that I feel and keep moving forward.