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Sex + Relationships

Being Unavailable to Unavailable People

We’ve all heard the saying “Nobody likes a cheater.” It applies to more than just tests and homework. Unfortunately, a lot of people (no matter their age) fall prey to cheating in a relationship, whether it be their partner cheats or they cheat themselves. It’s terrible when trust is broken, and a lot of times people blame themselves for the indiscretion. But what about the people who are pursued that stand up and say no? How do you go about being unavailable for unavailable people?

First off, there’s a difference between pursuing someone and not knowing that they are in a relationship and actively knowing that they are (that’s a completely different article). If you have been talking to someone and come to find out that they are in a relationship, let that go, dude. That person shouldn’t be talking to anyone else if they are committed to someone already, whether they said so or not. It’s not fair to you or to their significant other. Chances are, if they’re doing that to you, they are probably doing it to someone else.

Instead of wasting time being furious at that person, just be clear that you are not a “side chick” in any way, shape or form and be on your merry way! *starts playing Carrie Underwood song* It can be hard finding out that out that you aren’t the only one in their life, but being with that person will not only be bad for all parties involved, it most likely won’t do your conscious any good either.

My friends and I do this thing every once in a while, where we describe the kinds of guys that normally become interested in us, and the most common denominator is usually “in a relationship.” It baffles us every time. It is disheartening seeing that people are so quick to mess up their current relationships for something that they THINK is going to be better. Getting approached by someone who is involved with someone else is not only dangerous, but also kind of sucks, especially if it happens more than once. It can make you feel like you aren’t worthy of being more than a second thought.

But the good thing is that you can weed out the cheaters and the liars and protect yourself when you turn them down. Becoming unavailable to someone who already is not only shows your strength but shows that the person is not who they present themselves to be. You can protect yourself from getting your heart broken and potentially save a relationship in the process. Just remember, you are free to make the choices you want to make, so think about what’s the best choice for you!

Tatianna Eaves is a senior at Auburn University studying Media Studies with a minor in Theatre. An Auburn native, Tatianna enjoys college football, photography and obscure Netflix movies. She aspires to be a screenwriter and producer, if she can just make it through college. Instagram: @tatianna_e24
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