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What You Should Talk About With Your Best Friend Versus With Your Mom

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at ASU chapter.

If I’m being honest, my mom is my best friend. We have had our fair share of ups and downs, but that’s common in any relationship. We also talk about EVERYTHING together. I mean literally everything, from relationships to shaving to which underwear to wear when it’s hot out. We have each other’s backs.

On the other hand, I also have an amazing best friend that I talk with about everything else. From whether these jeans make my butt look big to if my haircut really looks good to if I should invite the girl I met on tinder over, I trust her to be honest in ways that my mother would say, “Oh, honey, you always look beautiful!”

Both relationships contain boundaries that are necessary for balance. Below, I’ve  compiled a list of things you should talk about with your best friend and things you should talk about with your mom.

Your HORRENDOUS Tinder Date? Keep it with your best friend.  

Now, I’m saying this because your mom shouldn’t know what Tinder is. But if she does, then she’s a cool mom. She shouldn’t know about how awful the drinks were, how he kissed you goodnight with tongue, or even how his pants sagged past his buttcheeks. 

The type of people you’re interested in? Your besties ALWAYS have your back. 

Your mom will always support you, but your friends will always have your back with keeping their eyes open. They have the best eyes when it comes to soul searching for you, no matter how specific your preferences are. 

Whether your jeans look good: Your main partner, for sure. 

You’ve been shopping with your mom before, right? Remember the days when you went “back-to-school-clothes-shopping” and bought new shirts, pants, and shoes? She would force you to try on things she thought would be cute and then force you to walk out of the dressing room to show her. How embarrassing! Your best friends are of course the ones to tell you the truth on whether your jeans make your underwear lines show or not, but also if your calves look good. Nothing is worse than not feeling confident in an outfit that you asked for advice on. 

Financial questions: Your mom, always. 

Whether it’s planning for college, a house, or just working building your savings, your mom is absolutely the one to consult when it comes to saving for “girl things.” Your dad may also be a good choice as well, but nothing beats having a free lunch with your mom for an hour while answering some pressing questions. A worry-free afternoon with a loved one always relaxes me, in my opinion. 

Anything underwear or bras: Best friend…because why not? 

Have you ever been bra shopping with your mom? Most likely not since junior high when she had to buy your training bras. Remember how awful that was? I sure do. Growing up, your taste changes from rainbow prints and unicorns, to something a little more padded and push-up. If you are someone that prefers bralettes, like me, shopping with your friends is the way to go because they will be honest about whether lace is your style or not. Moms will always have your back, but in a way that makes sure you are not “too exposed.” 

 

Taxes: Mama Bear to the rescue! 

As someone who went to public school, I was taught more on cellular biology than how to file my taxes. This resulted in me ALWAYS confiding in my mom to get them done because I had no clue how to read a pay stub or how to determine what my net worth was. Heck, I didn’t even know how much I made in a year. Allowances? I do chores, but I never received money for it. Your mom is the best to consult when wanting to understand how to read a pay stub or to celebrate with when you get your sweet, sweet tax return. Only because she wants to go shopping with you, of course. 

Breakup advice: Your mom. 

Your friends are there to empathize with you after a hard breakup, but your mom will always be there to make sure you’re not alone and has an endless supply of hugs. Your friends will most likely just tell you the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new. Your mom will listen to you vent, wipe your tears, and grab you tissues for your running nose. 

A rather short list, but you get the point. Your mom will always be your first best friend, but your best friend is the one to consult for stylistic things rather than financial. Both will always have your back, but more so in different ways that are crucial for survival. Make sure to be honest with your mom, best friend, and especially yourself.

JP (they/them/theirs) is a graduate student at DePaul who enjoys reading books, playing guitar, and telling bad jokes. When they're not behind a book or getting a tan from their computer screen, catch them planning their next tattoo. Check their 'gram: @hanson.jp