Summer Struggle: Lots of Free Time, Little Motivation & Lack of Direction

I have no motivation to go anywhere or do anything because I have nothing to do. Before I started college I didn’t know much about Phoenix but after having lived there the past few months at ASU Phoenix has become my home. Coming back to California didn’t feel the way it used to, because even though nothing changed, I have.

Being home for the summer, I’ve felt lazy. Don’t get me wrong I love my family with all of my heart and being at home surrounded by family again, but they are all on different schedules and are used to life without me.

The days feel longer when I’m all by myself and have to find something to do. I haven’t wanted to do much because this school year I worked myself to the point of burn out at the end of the semester.

In college, it was just easier to find things to do because of the constant deadlines. I always had something to do or something to work on and although that could be stressful at times it was comforting and satisfying to get things done.

Now after finishing my freshman year, it’s been a bit of a learning curve adjusting to life at home and having free time. Now that I have free time I have time to do things like:

  • Finally, finish my favorite shows like:

    • Parks and Rec.

    • The Office

    • Shadowhunters

    • And many others

  • Update social media

  • Discover new music as well as the classics

  • Watch random youtube videos

  • Clean!

  • Watch movies  

  • See Avengers: Endgame (twice - yes this is true I watched it twice )

  • Listen to Spotify playlists

  • Discover Tik Tok

  • Played Fortnite

  • Do art

  • Write

  • Watch song covers

  • Watch Vines (yes vines, R.I.P Vine)

  • Scroll through Twitter

  • Hot tub

  • Go swimming

 

In college I didn’t really have free time because I was juggling 18 credits, working full-time, being an active member of four student organizations, and making time for my friends. So, to say the least, I didn’t have time to just sit and chill.

Even on weekends I diligently dedicated my time to work on assignments and projects. I never really gave myself a break or time to just breathe and relax. Life at home has just been a change to a slower pace from my norm, with tons to do, lots of coffee, and little sleep.

I miss the study spaces, gardens, and my usual hangout spots because it was nice to get out of my dorm and have places I could go to and clear my head or get inspiration.

I love college and my first year was full of amazing memories and friends that became family. It was a little offsetting at first having to adjust,but I wouldn’t change it for anything. I learned so much about myself and my capabilities and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

I miss my friends, freedom, and the life I have back home in Phoenix.

 

 

I got so used to living on my own and being my own boss. Being home I have had to adjust to a bedtime, being told what to do, where to go and when. I am a child again although I’m an adult and it feels odd.

It’s not all that bad though,it’s been really nice spending time with my family. So far, I’ve gotten to go to family dinners, have a pool day, watch movies, and go on a road trip. I’ve also been able to visit my high school and catch up with my friends and some of my favorite teachers. Its refreshing visiting high school and seeing how much I’ve grown, but it also gave me a chance. I am thankful for the education and friends that I had. None the less I hope to continue to give back to my community by volunteering at my high school and helping in any way I can.

I hope to make the most of this summer and also enjoy it.

 

 

Regardless I’ll make a plan for this summer, but I also plan on relaxing and taking each day by day. As for adjusting to life at home, it’ll take a week or two but I know ASU isn’t going anywhere and will be there for me when I go back in the fall. Either way, I get homesick for California when I am at ASU and vice versa. Overall I just have to accept that I have two lives and I love them both, both are different and take some adjusting, but either way I wouldn’t change a thing.