The other day on my way into work, where my little office is on the top floor of a not very tall building, I got stuck in the elevator when the power went out. Though it was only for about fifteen minutes, as a psychotic sufferer of acrophobia (fear of heights) I immediately began to contemplate my life, the decisions I’ve made, who would give the eulogy at my funeral, etc. I mean for all I knew the power would come on and this death machine would plummet five stories, incinerating me and everything within miles. Yes, I’m psycho. But, because mom makes everything better, when my morbid thoughts drove me to claustrophobia, I called her up.
I love my mom, and once again, she saved the day by laughing at my predicament and driving the conversation in a much more pleasant direction. My mom is a huge list maker; she makes a list for everything – grocery baggers she likes, the distinct sound each window makes when it’s opened at 3 am in the middle of a desperate attempt from my brother to sneak out, and the jewelry stores that if my father shops at will land him on the couch for a week. Thus, in the middle of my dire time of need, she suggested I create a list of people I would most want to be stuck with in an elevator.
Now, because there are a lot of people I would want to be stuck in an elevator with (okay, maybe an elevator stuck on the ground floor) I organized my list into seven distinct categories and included reasons behind each choice. Here is the list of fourteen guys and gals I deem most worthy of my epic elevator panic attacks and who I would gladly pass the time with.
Entertainment – Comedy
1. Chelsea Handler – Her blunt sass and brutal honesty would no doubt have me cracking up at my dilemma. And, I bet she has some really interesting college girl stories that would put my own adventures to shame.
2. Kevin Hart – Sometimes his jokes are funny, sometimes they’re not. But, in either case, I’m claiming royalties to any elevator jokes he uses in any of his shows.
Entertainment – Music
1. Justin Timberlake- If you even have to ask why he’s on this list, you seriously need to re-watch the VMA’s. The guy is a legend, enough said.
2. Miley Cyrus- She may be the most controversial celebrity of our generation, but with personalized twerking lessons, I’m sure fifteen minutes would fly by.
Entertainment – Actors/Actresses
1-2. Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei: My Cousin Vinny is hands down, my favorite movie of all time. Seeing it on Netflix is great, but seeing it reenacted in person? I can die happy.
Authors
1. J.K. Rowling – Now, before you dismiss me as a Harry Potter junkie, let me tell you, I actually don’t like Harry Potter at all. I never got on the wizardry boat and can barely even sit through a movie, let alone get through the books. But, as a young aspiring writer, I appreciate quality when I see it and the Harry Potter series are very, VERY well written. Getting any amount of career advice or just being able to talk to such a powerful writer would be an amazing opportunity.
2. Dan Brown – I’d fan girl so hard I’d make Beliebers look mild.
Personal
1. A sexy fireman – List Justin Timberlake, this person should be an obvious decision. I can kill two birds with one stone – get over my fear of heights and bond with my future boyfriend.
2. Any of my friends – Since all of us are trying to graduate this year, we’ve all stopped going out together and the coffee/lunch dates have become few and far between. They are all good people and being stuck with them would be yet another one of our “oh so famous” adventures, all of which were pre-senior year.
Good People
Assuming they could come back to life of course…
1. Nelson Mandela – Between Invictus and the various awards/news articles I’ve read about him, Nelson Mandela possesses the true heart of a peaceful fighter. I would be lucky to spend thirty seconds in his presence.
2. Mother Teresa – She’s a true role model and someone who I once again would give up many things to be able to hear speak.
Successful Business Leaders
1. Sir Richard Branson, Virgin Group – He owns over 400 companies and has the passion to start 400 more. His business advice is like $2 pizza and beers for a poor starving college student – you just don’t turn that opportunity down.
2. Blake Mycoskie, Toms Shoes – He’s smart, successful, has a great sense of fashion, lives on a boat, and is single. What more could a girl need?
While I wouldn’t necessarily go out of my way to be stuck in an elevator, and would much rather settle for a nice quiet coffee date, being stuck with any of these people would no doubt be a life changing experience – however long or short it may be.
Who’s on your list?