1. Everyone knows that calories when you’re traveling DONT COUNT.
Eat those Twizzlers, guzzle that can of Coke, by all means have that donut on the way to the airport. Travel calories aren’t *actually* real things.
2. Calories are not counted on Christmas Eve, Christmas day, New Years Eve or New Years day.
YOU GET FOUR FULL CHEAT DAYS. It’s a holiday miracle.
3. If it is green it is healthy. period.
this includes green cookies and/or candy.
4. If you share said high calorie meal with another person, then you don’t have to count those calories either.
‘Tis the season of sharing indeed.
5. If you don’t finish said high calorie meal none of the calories count.
It’s science.
6. If Grandma made it it just has to be healthy.
Nothing says happiness quite like Grandma’s homemade hot chocolate. Calories can’t be in happy food, they just cant.
7. Seasonal food/drink items just don’t count.
Rumor has it – this is even FDA approved. *buys peppermint flavored everything*
8. If you’re watching a holiday movie guess what… calories are non-existent.
Popcorn is practically a vegetable anyway.
9. If you are wearing holiday attire then you have no need to worry.
Christmas sweater absorb the calories, haven’t you heard? Its almost as magical as Santa’s sleigh.
10. When avoiding family drama you don’t have to count calories.
Aunt Joan is complaining about cousin Brad again? Sneak into the kitchen, grab a handful of cookies…but don’t worry about the calories, they know you’re stressed so they will just leave you alone.
With all this being said, would someone please pass the egg nog?