Dear Stress,
You and I have had a complicated relationship over the course of my 25 years of life. We’ve had battles, some of which I have won and some that I have lost. You have taken over my life more times than I can count, so I’d like to address you head-on and face-to-face.
Stress, you are intertwined with my anxiety which hasn’t made this any easier. My anxiety causes migraines, racing thoughts, and doubts when I need to be my most confident and productive. You, Stress, have halted momentous moments in my life by creating doubts that I was not worthy of my endeavors. These are opportunities I will never, ever get back.
I would also like to point out that on top of my anxiety you add on unneeded pressure to things in my life that could be done with grace and minimal effort. However, you, Stress, have made them more difficult. Just the other day I was taking a quiz; it was already causing me anxiety as it was a 50-point quiz of only five questions. But you encouraged my anxiety to take total control of the situation. I spent twenty minutes double checking my answers even when I knew they were right. I even broke out into hives while taking the quiz because of you, Stress.
Speaking of our relationship over the years, I have learned how to box you away for most of the time and appear calm and collected. Somehow you take the key from my hand and open the box anyway. You are not my guardian angel; you are the ghost that won’t stop following me (even when I try to make you go away through meditation, yoga, and positive thinking). In recent years, we have found a way to co-exist without conflict. However, I feel like the only way to do that is to avoid you and push you to the back of my mind to never be seen or thought of again. Yet, you present yourself in a suit and tie ready for any event that I have planned.
When tragedy strikes, you take over. This is not the time for you to be present. Rather, you should go far, far away from the situation. Yet, there you remain. You never leave me alone when I need you to, and it’s not fair, it’s not right. When something awful happens with my family or friends, you constantly remind me of it. It affects my day-to-day living. You make me turn to therapy to help manage you since you can’t manage yourself. You are a ghost that won’t stop haunting my life.
On a more positive note, Stress, you have actually helped me over the years. When I am doing something really important, you get my adrenaline pumping through my veins and sometimes that makes or breaks what I’m working on. Most of the time, I’ll come up with something extraordinary because you kicked my work ethic up a few notches, turning stress into motivation. For that, I actually should thank you.
Out of all the things that impact my life, you, Stress, are actually the least of my worries. With all the stress you put on me and my conscious to remind and make sure that I finish my assignments, make appointments, study and so much more. If you were not in my life, I would not have accomplished all that I have to be successful nor would I be where I am. So, as I address you today, I want to thank you for your guidance, but remind you to respect my boundaries.
Sincerely,
Nicole