You know what my goal is right now? Just live. Relax. Don’t freak out. Breathe. Because with all the crap that’s been happening around us, it’s been a bit difficult to do that. If it’s not online homework, it’s the TV reminding us of the chaos outside our home, and if not that, it’s boredom. The crushingly horrible weight of having nothing to do holds you down as you stare at the wall and ask yourself, what am I doing with my life? (Or is that just me?)
Honestly, before the quarantine, I still couldn’t seem to reach that simple goal. You would think it’s easy but it’s usually the abstract things that really mess with our heads. They’re not actual, tangible things we can grab with our hands or take a clear picture of to show that we did them, they’re just…moments. They’re these things some of us have plenty of, while others have only grains that fall through the cracks. I think I’m the second one.
I’ve picked up the bad habit of always having to be “on”, whether it be creating, watching, or, talking (just as long as I’m never idle) I will feel accomplished. Why am I like that?
Sometimes we blame these habits on the digital world, or on school or work pressure but ultimately we’re the ones that pick and choose our goals. We decide what is our top priority and what doesn’t matter. Unfortunately, more often than not, our mental health falls in the latter category. I ask again, why is that? Our body develops all of this anxiety and stress to remind us that what we’re doing is unhealthy, but somehow, we continue to foster these bad habits.
Well I’m here to tell you that we can stop the cycle. If we tried that is. However you think you will reach this state of peace, feeling okay with yourself is what should matter. So I guess in the middle of a situation when time feels both big and small, I ask everyone (including myself) to just take a minute and really study your goals. Do they make you happy? Do they make you smile at the thought of reaching them one day, whenever that may be? Whether it’s getting a job, having a healthy committed relationship, learning a new skill, does it really make you believe you’ll be at peace, at least for that moment when you reach them? Because if so, I say go for it. If not, change it.
We keep thinking of goals as these little pieces of cement that can’t be removed once we choose them, but that’s wrong. We made it, so we can also destroy it—to make something else, something better. I think we forget about our own power to change things. We talk about change and how it rules over us, but we can create it too.
I guess what I’m ultimately trying to say is to take control of your life. Look at your life without judgement as someone who’s trying to change for the better. Pinpoint the goals that matter to you.