Dear Agony Aunt,
I’ve come to you with a problem that, quite possibly, puts the lives of me and a concerning amount of students at grave peril. Every night, I tremble with terror as I enter the stairway of the seventh floor at RH-02. It’s 3:00 A.M., and I fumble blindly downstairs, nearly tripping over myself in my haste to make it to the safety of the sixth floor’s welcoming light. It’s even worse when the lights flicker; I swear I can see shapes shifting from the corner of my eye. It’s like my sleep paralysis demon is back, but worse. I’m in tears every night I have to take the stairs — the lifts are magically always too full. Is this all a conspiracy against me? Is the universe sending me to an early, pitch-black grave? I’m at the end of my rope, Agony Aunt; I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I desperately need someone to light the way for me. Help, please!
Sincerely,
A spooked student.
Dear spooked student,
Flashlight.
With love,
Your Agony Aunt.
Shriya Bhat
Dear Agony Aunt,
Last week I opened my calendar to set up a Calculus group meeting and my eyes traveled to the red dot under 14th November. I click on it and up pops “Children’s Day.” And I think to myself, “since when has this festival stopped extending to me?” I wonder when I became an adult amidst all the assignments, deadlines, good times, milestones, and heartbreaks. In this rush of life, I think I forgot to appreciate my childhood, the carefree state, school annual days and picnics, animated movies, and the time to watch them. So, Agony Aunt, give me some recommendations on how I can relive my lost childhood.
Desperately,
A distressed adult
Dear distressed adult,
College hits everyone very hard at some point and all we need to do sometimes is step back and take a break. If you’re reading this, take it as a reminder to exit your calendar, stop finishing that dreadful assignment, and breathe. The Agony Aunt advises you to indulge yourself in some necessary free time, every week. Take that time to return to a carefree and unburdened version of yourself. Relive your favourite childhood moments so that the nostalgia stops wearing you down, and instead becomes an outlet for having fun. Go watch that comfort movie that reminds you of a safe space, or read that old comic strip that made you laugh until it hurt, or buy Magic Pops from the tuck shop to reach peak childhood nostalgia.
Be reassured that our childhood is never truly lost. Sometimes it just hides under those eyebags, heaps of coffee, and assignments and all you need to do is remind yourself that you can reconnect with your younger self anytime you want.
Until then,
Agony Aunt
Anusha Sharma
Dear Agony Aunt,
Are you unable to breathe as well? I kid you not, my eyes haven’t stopped watering and I am not sure if it is oxygen that I am breathing in. The smog in Sonepat, I tell you. The other day, I waved at my friend from afar but they did not wave back and I ended the friendship then and there. It turns out that they weren’t my friend. I can’t help it, the visibility was so low, there’s grey smoke everywhere literally. Now I am apologising and they aren’t talking to me. Agony Aunt, I don’t think I can survive in this city anymore. Please help me.
Gee Thanks,
A wheezing 19-year old
Dear wheezing 19-year-old,
I think I can finally put my hobby to some use. I love checking the weather and air conditions of different cities in the world. My current favourite at the moment is Addis Ababa. 18 degrees, sunny and a visibility of 23 kilometres. Perfect weather for you. The only problem is that you will have to move all the way from India to Ethiopia. However, I think you can do this much for your lungs. Oh also, why don’t you try befriending Greta Thunberg? I am sure she would be absolutely delighted to rant with you about Sonepat’s weather. Tea with Thunberg sounds like a plan to me.
Gee welcome,
Agony Aunt
Maitree Jain