That time when you smoothly cut through a piece of gulab jamun which is not too hot but slightly cold. Its inner core– a shade like water chestnut white that reminds you of every good gulab jamun you have ever had. And the chashni (sugary syrup). Its consistency is ek taar ki (one string-like). It is just so impeccably sweet that a bit of it stays with you for longer than you expected. You finally take a bite and it just melts in your mouth with the sugar propagating in your like a music wave. It then settles in like a comfortable silence. This is accompanied by dopamine rushing throughout your body. For a micro moment, your body is not an abode of hammering voices in your head or the resume-oriented pressure, it’s just you and the taste of the gulab jamun. The taste is aesthetic– it is transcendental. It makes you as [in]significant as [almost] any other being in this world who is or is not eating a gulab jamun in that period of time.
The academic equivalent of this gulab jamun for me is Philosophy.
I took my ‘first bite’ because of my M&B (Mind and Behaviour) in Monsoon 2022. It wasn’t my first preference as I wanted a Psychology-based M&B. However, not getting what I wanted turned out to be one of the best things that happened to me that semester!
I don’t know what it was about Berkeley claiming that there is nothing physical in this world or Elisabeth of Bohemia wondering about mind-body interaction or the lecture on the extension of mind– but there was something that made me fall in love with what I was doing. Pairo tale zameen khiskak gayi thi– my fundamental beliefs about the world were shaken. It was unsettling and uncomfortable. Plus, it was clearly not like I was the smartest or the most creative person in the classroom (haha Ashoka for you).
Yet, I didn’t significantly feel inferior.
In a Philosophy classroom, I believe everybody has the equal right to defend and to criticise ‘profound’ philosophers, be it an experienced professor or a novice. Students there are encouraged to be open to analyse assumptions and question the fundamentals (true for any liberal course for that matter). You don’t have to bother about looking for a source to cite to back up your own thoughts (but are they really your thoughts?)
I ‘eat the gulab jamun’ (do Philosophy) outside the classroom too. Whether in late night conversations with one of my college best friends or sharing my arguments in family discussions. Although, I must share that not everyone in my circle (you know who you are) is fond of gulab jamun. So that’s that.
I have gotten accustomed to doing philosophy to the extent that attending lectures of other disciplines (children of Philosophy) is uncomfortable at times. Not that I don’t mix gulab jamun with other ‘dishes’ like ice-cream (Psychology).
Anyways, on a serious note, what do you mean that we shall just accept this definition of personality and move ahead? Like what do you mean you freely called this ruler brilliant? Where is the detachment???
This reminds me that for someone like me who would like to describe her personal writing style as engaged, the detachment that Philosophy requires in reading and writing is a good enough respite.
I have rather been submissive and a rule-stickler all my life. To now be so open to discuss things that I unquestionably accepted is liberating. Obviously, I won’t abandon my pre-existing beliefs just for the sake of being critical. It’s just that Philosophy has made me much more comfortable with differing opinions. I feel less hesitant to support what makes sense to me. Philosophy has given me a newly found freedom and confidence.
But eh, Philosophy is not always so hunky dory or comfortable for me. It’s frustrating at times to be in the cycle of argument-counter-argument and never reach a completely convincing and satisfying conclusion. Because that simply isn’t possible with Philosophy – all you are polished in, is the art of questioning, and questioning better. That’s an unsettling thought, isn’t it? Philosophy can be intellectually taxing.
Also, let me be honest, I cannot always have gulab jamun. Do not ask my thoughts about free will on a Friday at 10:10. Forget about the quality of being free, I am not sure if I had the will to get out of my bed this morning!
Anyways, I am grateful for being introduced to Philosophy. Now, I will take your leave. Gotta read something on Philosophy of love as a substitute for hyper fixating on my romantic feelings. K bye.