At the very start of my school days, when asked about my future aspirations, I would offer two responses instead of the typical one. I would say I wanted to be a scientist and an author. Truth be told, back then, I didn’t truly understand what those professions entailed; I was merely rumbling responses without much thought. My main passion was simply to immerse myself in books all day long. However, the paths of science and writing, though distinct, would unexpectedly intertwine and shape both my academic and personal journey in many ways.
It came as no surprise to me that English was my favorite subject in school. Spending more time buried in books than perhaps I should have, I relished any form of writing offered in the English language. For much of my school years, I was certain I would pursue English literature in college. However, everything shifted in 10th grade when I discovered a newfound passion for the sciences, particularly biology. Yet, as 12th grade approached, I found myself facing the daunting question: “What will you study in college?” I narrowed my options down to two: biology and English. The compulsion to make a choice was at war with my desire to explore.
Slowly, though, clarity emerged. I realized that my inclination towards English stemmed from my desire to become an author. It was then that I made my perfect choice: Biology and Creative Writing.
As the first semester of college began, I found myself enrolled in subjects that bore no relation to either biology or creative writing. Despite this, I remained steadfast in my conviction towards those fields and what lay ahead. It didn’t occur to me initially that I had made an unconventional choice. Surrounded by peers who were primarily career-oriented, passion seemed to take a backseat, its significance diminished in the face of pragmatic considerations. The norm appeared to be pursuing combinations of subjects that were closely related and mutually beneficial. Upon hearing about the combinations others had chosen, I couldn’t help but take a step back and question if my choices were indeed correct. Perhaps I should have opted for chemistry or physics; that would have seemed more sensible and practical. Or maybe, just maybe, pursuing English and creative writing was the right path after all? Yet, as the first day of the second semester arrived and my classes commenced, I found myself immersed in the present moment, ready to embrace whatever lay ahead.
I understood that the path ahead wouldn’t be flawless. In every moment of our lives, there’s a lingering uncertainty about what could have been if we had chosen differently. Even the smallest choices, like selecting the next song to play, can weigh heavily on our minds, reflecting the depth of their impact. So, when faced with decisions that could shape our entire lives, it’s natural to hesitate, unless we’re willing to take a significant risk. Most of us aren’t, and I don’t think I want to either.
As I glanced around the classroom, I noticed a variety of faces. Some exuded confidence, their posture rigid and arms neatly crossed, as if they had been on this path for ages and had long ago decided it was their destiny. On the other hand, there were those who seemed indifferent, as if they didn’t care much about what was unfolding before them. I, however, found myself somewhere in between. I lacked the certainty to wear a confident expression, yet I couldn’t afford to take things lightly either. I wondered if there would ever be a moment, a “happily ever after,” where everything would fall into place effortlessly, and suddenly, everything would make sense, and I’d feel at ease. I searched for stories, even the slightest hint, of this happening to someone else.
As uncertain as the future might be, I found solace in the realization that my chosen path felt right for me. The first class of creative writing felt like a comforting embrace, reaffirming my decision. Both classes, despite being just the beginning, welcomed me with a sense of belonging. While I remain open to doubts and uncertainties about what lies ahead, I’ve come to understand the importance of following my own path. I may become a scientist and an author, or I may not.