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Sex + Relationships

9 A-Shocking Ashokan Dating Stories That WILL Make You Cringe

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Edited by: Lasya Adiraj

I hate going on dates. No really, I despise it. Don’t get me wrong, I love Love, but something about labeling what is essentially hanging out with a potential future partner as a “date” gets me brimming with the anxiety of always wanting to get it right. And this is probably why, in my nineteen long years of existence, I’ve never been on a date that hasn’t ended up with me either going all out and oversharing, or just staring at my date in awkward silence. Plus the flowers, the doe-eyes, the being nicer-than-your-usual, the chair-pulling obligations, the “we-might-fuck” smirks just make m-ugh. UGH. The way I deal with my ‘inability’ to date is finding comfort knowing I’m not the only one with cringy date experiences. 

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, we collected some of the weirdest, juiciest, most awkward, and embarrassing stories of dates Ashokans have been on. If you’re single, grab a bowl of popcorn. If you’re not, um, don’t do what they did? 

“Went on a date to a park near his house for the first time. It was really cute at first, I loved how it was different from most dates I’d been on. We spent a lot of time on the swings and slides, played football with the kids there, and raced each other. Then we decided to get really drunk. Eventually, he was so out of it that he started throwing sticks and rocks at the stray dogs there. We ended up getting chased by like 10-12 of them in the gully for like 30 minutes straight, with like dozens of aunties and uncles screaming around us. His neighbor was a volunteer at PETA and yelled at us for an hour straight. They even threatened to post what we did online. Was literally screaming, crying, throwing up by the end of it. Never again.” – UG’24

“Matched with a senior on a dating app only to realize, after hitting it off pretty well, that they were a really close friend of my elder sibling in school and I’d actually met them multiple times when I was younger😭. Not a worst-first-date story but definitely the most awkward one😌.”  – UG’23 

“Went out on a date with a junior. Midway I felt my stomach getting really weird so I went to the washroom and literally could not stop shitting. Was at it for a good 30 minutes and forgot to take my phone with me so I didn’t realize he tried to call me. He literally came there to find me. Before I knew he was outside I started aggressively flushing the toilet. He asked me if I was okay and I started crying because it was so embarrassing and I was freaking out. Then he literally took me to his mom who’s a doctor and told her I had diarrhea. Neither of us said anything on the way. Sckmkjidksmddfkjfi. I never spoke to him again.” – UG’23

“Went out with a guy not too long ago. After hanging out for a while he said wanted me to meet his friends so he took me to where they play football. They were all honestly pretty chill and nice and cool for some reason that gave me like a tonne of confidence and I wanted to impress the guy so I asked if I could join the game. They were like, sure, and literally as soon as the next game begins I stand too close to the goal and one of them kicks the ball really hard and it ends up hitting me right in the face. My nose started bleeding and I had to be driven to the hospital. I never cried so hard in my entire life. I really liked him but he never spoke to me again.” – UG’24

“Went on a date with a YIF who was five years older than me. Smoked 3 of my cigarettes and then told me he doesn’t usually smoke the kind I had because it caused him erectile dysfunction.” – ASP’22

“Like 2 years ago I went on my first movie date. It was really dark and we were both really focused on the movie. I was trying to grab some popcorn from her but I ended up spilling her coffee in her lap. It was obviously too hot so she screamed, the lady on her right screamed and the popcorn literally flew over and spilled all over the uncles in the row below us. They legit switched the lights on, paused the movie, and kicked us out after all of that.” – UG’24

“After the date, she asked me to drop her home and I said yes, obviously, because it’s Delhi. We were hooking up in the cab on the way, only to realize her dad was in the car right next to us. He saw us all over each other and made us stop on the side of the road and took her home after yelling at me.” – UG’23

“I went on a date with this girl and I think we were having a good time. She honestly looked interested in me and she seemed like she was having fun. She said she needed to call her mom about something important and so she went behind a little wall next to us, assuming it’s soundproof. I then heard her literally begging one of her friends to call her in the middle of us eating and say there’s an emergency. I got so upset that I got up and left as soon as I heard her say it.” – UG’23

“Legit at the end of the date, they go like ‘how would you rate this date on a scale of 1 to 10?’ In my head, I was thinking a 4 but I really didn’t want to be rude. We decided to rate it out loud at the same time. I went like 6 and she went 9. From then on we’ve shared awkward glances and ghosted away.” – UG‘22

Clearly, things don’t always work out. The sui does miss the dhaaga sometimes. And that’s completely okay. But if you do come across someone who calls you back despite a terrible experience, congratulations! They’re a total keeper. Or maybe, just desperate. Hmm. 

Nandini is a first-year student at Ashoka University, where she hopes to major in Psychology and Economics. She has a range of different interests, a number of which come and go, but her love for writing and reading is and always will remain constant.
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