Edited by: Geetanjali Roy
An air of despondency hangs heavy over the students’ heads, attributed to the industrial smog pervading the perfect paradise of Mess lawns. As the warmth of sunlight dwindles, the late afternoon’s darkening skies put their tired limbs to sleep.
Their movements have become more frantic. Shaky fingers furiously type away. Eyes redden and dry, unaccustomed to long hours of continuous screen time. Their souls? Long burnt out. Yet, every now and then, they flinch when a Google Classroom notification glows menacingly on their phones.
Due tomorrow: “Final Essay Assignment”
A collective dejected sigh arises. They do not have a choice. Another skipped class. Another all-nighter. It’s just this week, they reassure themselves. It’s a false reassurance.
It’s that time of the semester again. The high-end cliques of A-graders find methods to maintain their sanity, mainly through what they call “relaxation”. Most simply prefer to lose their minds in the name of productivity. (Ingenious, I say). But worry not, dear students, here are five effective ways to relax (or not) during finals week.
1. Take a walk outside!
Is your back getting sore from sitting in the library? Is your head too noisy with presentation research and Instagram reel music? Close the laptop screen. You deserve better than a half-arsed essay lowering your self-esteem. Take a walk outside. Breathe in the air, rich with particulate matter pollution. Count the pretty flowers on ornamental plants which will wilt and disappear in a day or two. Look at the grey sky at noon and wonder if parakeets crash into each other due to low visibility. Catch up with your friend you haven’t seen in days. Laugh and wallow in your self-created miseries. But do NOT cry about your rejected confession from a week ago! You have better things to cry about now—like that essay you left behind to relax!
2. Listen to calming music!
I shall demonstrate with an example of how effective this method is.
This that pink venom, this that pink venom
This that pink venom (get ’em, get ’em, get ’em)
“… this reveals how the text deceives the characters by complicating the idea of a single, true meaning. This deception is achieved through the “gaze”, which creates murkiness in metaphorical detonation…”
Straight to ya dome like whoa-whoa-whoa
Straight to ya dome like ah-ah-ah
“… the colour pink in the text is representative of the feminine, however, the usage of venom suggests a dangerous eroticism. The phrase emphasizes the idea of “wantonness” heavily connoted to the four maidens…”
Taste that pink venom, taste that pink venom
Taste that pink venom (get ’em, get ’em, get ’em)
“… the garden is allegorical of an excess of taste, an idea linked to “wantonness” as evident in how the wanton maidens in their wanton merriments danced wantonly…”
Straight to ya dome like whoa-whoa-whoa
Straight to ya dome like ah-ah-ah
“This paper makes perfect sense. I’ll submit now.”
3. Eat good food!
The path to happiness has hordes of cup noodles and chocolates on the sidewalks. But do remember dear students, “good” and “nutritious” are not synonymous. I’ll advise you to go for the former—it is essential to treat your taste buds. If coffee makes you happy, helps keep your eyes open and your body active, drink all you want. If chocolate truffle cakes and doughnuts with rainbow sprinkles make your heart flutter, nothing’s stopping you from having some right now. Food breaks are always an effective stress reliever. Don’t think twice, go to that mid yet unfairly overpriced campus food outlet and drown your academic sorrows in expensive meals. It’s Thursday night after all!
4. Organise the mess that is your life!
An organised living space is key to healthy working habits. Arrange that bookshelf. Colour code your stationery. Fold the crumpled clothes that have been lying in your closet since last month. Clean up the chips wrappers and Gatorade bottles. Relish the pride and productivity. And if you’re feeling a tad bit more impulsive, take this author’s example and re-decorate your soft board! Yes, pin up that gorgeous poster of your current K-pop bias. Add more fanarts of the black-haired side character from your favourite anime. Put up those album covers and cheesy poetry you wrote. You’ll find that it’s already night by the time you’re done. But hey, even if you got distracted, you were productive. And that’s what matters (well not really, you missed the deadline).
5. Make a schedule!
This one’s genuinely practical. Schedules make you worry more than relax. No sarcasm is intended there. Write down those deadlines on your whiteboard. Spare them a glance every day when you wake up. Let the anxiety of nearing dates make you work on your assignments. Remember, relaxation will distract you. Sanity is a myth.