“Friends with benefits.” “Friends. With. Benefits”. The phrase that is lightly passed around in our society and has become normalized as a healthy type of relationship. Don’t get me wrong; I am guilty of thinking that “friends with benefits” could work. The idea that you can have the best of both worlds, no commitment so that you can still look for your Mr. Right seems like a great idea at the time. But for me, this type of relationship leaves me more broken than I was before. Do they want this because they like you or because they like your body?
Us girls have to give ourselves some more respect. Ask ourselves, why do they want me? Do they want me because they genuinely like me and enjoy our conversations? Or is it just because they think they’ll “score” tonight? If we have to guess whether they are interested in us for who we are or for our bodies, then it is most likely not the answer we want. I truly feel “Friends with benefits” is a phrase for guys to make you feel loved and wanted for a short amount of time only for you to gain real feelings and be kicked to the curb when they’ve found someone new to toy with.
College campuses are flooded with guys who aren’t “looking for anything serious” and are just interested “in a good time”. Isn’t that the fairy tale ending you dreamed of as a little girl? To be with a guy but not actually be with him? Of course not! Our (modernized) fairy tale is the frat boy who will offer to leave the party early to take you home, the boy who will post pictures of you from a function and pick you up from class, so you don’t have to walk in the rain. Our dream guy is the one who sees us for who we are and loves us no matter how bad we look when we wake up Friday morning after a night out. The guy who goes to every CFF and wears your sorority sticker to every game. The cliché college guy is our dream. Not the one who flinches at the mention of commitment and just “wants to have fun”.
I’ve learned that when it comes to guys, you have the right to be picky. You have the right to have high standards. You deserve the guy who sees you at your worst and still loves you. College is about finding yourself, and hey if you happen to find a guy along the way then props to you. But in all seriousness, don’t just give yourself away because you “think” that he likes you or you “think” that he cares. If you found him in a frat house, drunk, there is a high probability that he isn’t the prince charming you’re searching for. Find a man who will give you your dream fairy tale ending. The ending that you deserve.