Speaking from experience, getting over a breakup can be extremely hard. There are essential things to remember when going through this process. Psychologists say that it takes half the time you dated someone to fully get over them. If this truly is the case, then it can be anywhere from months to years. Honestly, all you need to remember throughout this is to take it with grace. You will learn from each relationship…and each breakup. You will grow and come out stronger no matter how hard it may seem. The truth is you probably deserve much better and you just are not letting yourself. So here are my five go-to tips after a breakup:
- Phones run our world in this generation. The easiest way to get over someone quickly is to cut off all communication with that person (this is so vital and so hard). Block them on social media sites and block their numbers (if you have to block their family and friends as well).
- Running off of phones, change their contact name, this is especially helpful if you think blocking them may be too extreme. The only thing to remember is that you should not change it to something that will make you angry and evoke unwanted emotions (i. e., “liar”). Change their name to something productive that will help you feel empowered and not want to go back. I changed my first ex’s to “there is something better.”
- Make a very thorough list of everything you did not like about them. Look at this when you want to contact them. Make sure you can open the list at any time (I keep mine on my phone). The fact of the matter is that you are only going to think about the good and what you lost, but if it did not work out, then clearly there are bad memories and ticks that annoyed you.
- Your brain will be more receptive to physical accomplishments as opposed to arbitrary ones. So print out a calendar or use your planner and put some mark for every day you have not talked to this person (I use a big red “x”). This will soon go from one week to one month because I guarantee that you will not want to start over.
- Lastly, find your friends. Reach out to people and form friendships. Do not let this stop your growth and your life. It is okay to sit there for a few days, but do not wallow in your sadness for weeks. This is just a breakup, and someone else will come along. So do not give up on yourself, on your life, your friends, and finding someone who truly does value you.