“Mar, Mar, Mar!! Don’t you have class?” The questioning voice of my roommate has been my alarm one too many times this semester. What usually follows is a string of words that would make a sailor cringe, and a harried relay 1/200th the length of my normal morning routine. It is always the day that my bike manages to fail on me. Whether it’s caught in some sort of two wheeled karma sutra with the other bikes in the rack or the chain has managed to fall off, again. I think it finally caught wind of all the times I insult its 20 plus year old frame and decided to take revenge. This beginning has never been followed by a good day. Now, I’m no rip-van-winkle when it comes to sleeping, nor am I the type to ignore the obnoxious chorus of my cell phone alarm. In fact, there was a point when I cherished the cheerful, “ding ding ding” followed by a jazzy chorus of “Good morning, bum bum bum bum, bum bum bum bum! Good morning, but it’s the time of midterms and sleep deprivation. To worsen the situation I have somehow learned to turn off my alarm subconsciously, proof that my body wants to thwart my academic pursuit!
Rule: Don’t set one alarm, set two, perhaps three. You have to be relentless: turn the volume all the way up, the most horrendous ringer available, think sonic boom, not elevator music. Go the distance: place your phone out of reach so that you have to move your body to silence the ringing, no casual arm darting out from the covers should be able to reach.
Admittedly, more of my meal plan money goes towards Starbucks than towards actual food. When given the option between caffeine and waiting 10 years for a breakfast burrito at IQ, the former wins out every time. The problem: Starbucks website reveals that my go-to drink, a modest sounding tall Cinnamon Dolce Late with whip has almost twice as many calories and four more grams of fat than a serving of Samoas. I won’t even try to pretend I was able to resist the swarms of cookie toting Girl Scouts that flooded the mall last week. Did I mention that studying is also eating up my gym time? AND spring break is coming! Luckily my vacation destination is the ski slopes of Colorado so the extra insulation may be a blessing. However, this “insulation” isn’t going to look so good once shorts season gets into full swing.
Rule: Explore healthier options! Any drink can be made with non-fat milk and without whip, doing this reduced my CDL (Cinnamon Dolce Latté, I visit enough that I’m starting to get the abbreviations) to 160 calories and no fat! If you’re feeling super ambitious ask for a “short” drink, its 8 ounces as opposed to the 12 ounce tall. The cup is adorably sized and saves me a caffeine-induced trip to the bathroom in the middle of lecture. I’ve whacked my knee on one too many mini-desks and nearly face-planted over too many backpacks to want to repeat that obstacle course every day.
What is the cause for all of this caffeine consumption and sleep deprivation? Studying, study guides, projects, essays and every member of the academic family tree comes to town right around midterms. I have learned the following in my short time at U of A: the two-biggest/most stressful assignments will invariably be due on the same day. Unlike high school few teachers offer a catchall, “review day” in which they reiterate material for the duration of the class. You were supposed to learn the material the first time, duh. There is a much better chance at getting their attention if you come to class prepared with a specific topic or question to inquire about, and even better so if you can scrape together the extra time to attend their office hours. Contrary to popular belief, at the heart of every salty, cynical professor there is a sentient being that wants you to succeed. On the other hand, if your professor or T.A. has gone completely over to the dark side, there are plenty of able-bodied tutors well versed in the force and humanities to help you at the Think Tank.
My final words of wisdom are brought to you by PB & J Otter, think Nickelodeon circa 1998. If the situation is dire, you have no idea how to find a derivative, decipher what Plato was really saying, and you’ve been up so late it can be considered morning, use your noodle! And do the corresponding dance, if you need help remembering YouTube can provide just the right dose of nostalgia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJ42yWqRvb4.