Now, more than ever women are choosing to remain single. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 40 million American women have never been married, and more than one–half of American U.S. women are single. The film “Seeking Happily Ever After,” shown for Women’s History Month, by the UA’s Women’s Resource Center,explores unmarried women above the age of thirty and the pressures society places on them to get married. The big question single women face is “Why are you still single?” and “What’s the matter with you?”When a woman over thirty is single, people usually think it’s not by choice. That is just not the case. It’s not just the unattractive, weird, women who are single, but the beautiful and accomplished women who are too. Most women remain single because they don’t want to settle.
But is this going to lead to never finding anyone who fits the criteria? Are modern women being too picky now that they can have financial independence? Are they searching for a “prince” that isn’t realistic? One woman in the film, who came from a traditional Chinese family, was told by her father she was too picky. She responded with “Is that bad?” Some people might think so, especially family members and friends who want to see you happy and settled down. Remaining unattached might be fine for the woman, but to friends and family it’s a problem. So many mothers put pressure on their daughters to provide grandchildren because they want to fit in with their friends who are showing off pictures of their adorable grandkids. They want validation, just like women who get married just so they can say they are married. One woman in the film, after telling her date she never had been married, was asked if she had ever been proposed to. Somehow it was okay to be single if someone had at least attempted to marry her; otherwise she was viewed as undesirable. Some agree it is okay for a woman to be over thirty and single only if she has been divorced, becausethenit proves she is desirable. It just shows that women are still being judged if they do not conform to the norms of society.
So many women lose hope after years of never finding “the one.” Frustration takes over and women grow tired of holding onto that hope. It leads them to think “why bother?” Many of the women in the film turned to travel for fulfillment, others turned to happiness in their careers. Some had their eggs frozen, so they could stop thinking about their “ticking clock,” and some adopted. One woman said she started going to the movies by herself and loves it. I think the most important message of the film is that women are starting to have a choice. The older generations still expect marriage, but younger women are thinking more about what is best for them, and that may not include marriage. Slowly, the label of an old, single, women surrounded by cats is dying out, and a more positive image is showing up in its place. So many college women are now putting their educations and careers first, creating a strong generation of women who can choose to be married or single, and have an equal amount of happiness.