A Response To "I'm The Girl Who'd Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign"

When did women stop supporting women? When did women start having to decide if they were going to be "feminist" or have a family? When was that line drawn in the sand because I feel like I'm missing something? Did our mothers tell us we had to have a career or children? Did their mothers tell them that? Does me raising my "We are better than this" sign decide that I can't raise children of my own someday?

No it doesn't. 

There's an article circling the web that slams women who go to things like The Women's March and women who protest things like equal pay, sexual assault, sexism in general.  The irony being that the author believes that feminists that are protesting the system are the ones dividing the sisterhood of females. 

It's not that. 

It's anyone who believes that their way of life is the only way it can be. Anyone who thinks you can't want equal pay for men and women and raise a family. Anyone who doesn't have a problem with a system that silences girls who were sexually assaulted over and over again by their doctor. Anyone who talks down to a woman for marrying someone that they love. That's what's tearing women apart. 

Personally, I am a nasty cross between the two. Somewhere between attending Women's marches and waiting on my fiancé to come home everyday just to take care of him. I tend to walk the line because I think I could be both a stay at home mom and a CEO and it's not an either or decision to be made. Maybe I'll make all of the money in the world and miss my family. Maybe I'll stay at home and miss work. Maybe I'll have three kids and focus on building them up for the best possible future. Most weeks I work full time and I'm almost done with my first degree and somehow I spend my spare time homemaking and cooking. I personally enjoy making cupcakes as much as I enjoy anything else in life. 

If you find yourself rolling your eyes at someone who says they want to be a stay at home mom or rolling your eyes at someone wearing a feminism shirt, stop it. Just stop. Support the people around you. Support the women around you. We will be raising the next generation of strong little women and strong mothers. That's what we should focus on: being strong. We need to be strong for ourselves, for the people around us for the ones before us and after us and not focus on not liking a girl because she’s a #feminist or because she has a Pinterest board dedicated to how she'll make her kids' lunches one day. 

I am engaged to my high school sweet heart at 22. I have been in love with him since I met him. I am not walking down the aisle, I am running. The thought of raising children with him one day fills my heart to the point I think it could burst. I have their names picked out. I know what their nurseries will look like. Until that day comes, though, I'll keep fighting for my equal pay and fighting the sexism that I face everyday. And I do mean every single day. No dramatics, no sarcasm.

 And to the author of that article: I am so happy that you don't see sexism in your life. I am so happy you see women in a position of power everywhere around you. That's what the signs and protests have been for almost 100 years. That's what we all want. You see it less because people are getting it, but it doesn't mean it doesn't exist because you don't see it in your own world. You can raise a feminist protest sign and a family. You can even take your family to the protest and let them ask their own questions. The two aren't mutually exclusive.  I will be a kick ass mom who teaches my daughters not to accept a man talking down on them with the help of my husband, father, and mother who showed me the same things. Who showed me I am any man's equal. I will do both. If someone hates on the way you choose to live your own life, then call them out. Here's a secret, though, then you're protesting, too. We all have the right to choose the ways we want to live our life. So let us.

If you're curious to where all of my feelings came from you can read the original article here.