Friendships throughout our lives at ASU usually fall into one of three categories: childhood friends, high school friends, and college friends. But with graduation fast approaching for many of us, what should we do about the new realm of relationships that we are going to encounter after the world of undergrad? Of course we will make friends after college… but what to call them? “Grown-up” friends? What a silly concept, yet still completely present and intimidating for any post-grad woman. We enter into a new life and find that we may not meet people as similar as us on a daily basis like we did in college. We aren’t surrounded by a generally defined age range, and we lose those small talk questions like, “what’s your major?” and are forced to navigate an entirely new spectrum of society. As a graduating senior, I experience the occasional bout of terror focused on the uncertainty of my future. Nothing to be ashamed of. Freaking out like this is not limited to jobs, salaries, and finding my own dentist, but also includes the overwhelming realization that I will have to find and make “grown-up” friends.
Luckily enough, in the midst of all these thoughts on future friends I may or may not have, I stumbled upon a blog that addresses this exact ordeal. Called, “MWF Seeking BFF,” this completely insightful, entertaining, and extremely valid blog chronicles the process of yes, finding adult girlfriends in a post-grad world. Author Rachel Bertsche, who has also released a book based off of this search, defines her situation in a completely relatable way:
“I’m looking for someone to invite over to watch The Biggest Loser or to text “pedicure in half an hour?” on a Saturday morning. To me, that’s what BFFs are. Not just people who know your innermost secrets, but the ones up for grabbing a bite on a whim because they love being with you just that much, and getting together feels easy and natural rather than a chore you need to pencil in.”
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Bertsche describes the constant process of seeking girlfriends, describing it much like dating in many cases. However, this type of “seeking BFF” mentality may be even more daunting than a first date: women are way harder to please than men, a well-known rule of the universe. Of course, there are countless blogs, books, websites, articles, etc. addressing the ups and downs of finding the perfect man. However, how often is it that we receive advice on finding the perfect woman to talk about dating troubles with? Or to see the newest Ryan Gosling movie with if you’re living miles away from your college girlfriends? Creating new friendships is undoubtedly hard, much less ones with people who have already started their lives, with adult focuses, interests, and responsibilities. Thanks to Bertsche’s blog, none of us are really alone on this journey as we wine, dine, and otherwise woo our next potential BFFs. She truly says it best when she outlines her mission:
“So I’m on the hunt for Miss Right. A person who can fill the one void in the otherwise great life I’ve set up in the Windy City. I always thought friendships blossom naturally, like at summer camp and in school. In the grown-up world, apparently this isn’t the case. So I’m taking matters in my own hands.”
“MWF Seeking BFF” can be found here: http://mwfseekingbff.com/